Reviews for afternoon delights
not sure yet chapter 1 . 10/4/2005
whoa, that last part really threw me of guard for some reason, completely wasnt expecting something like that, maybe it's cause your style is so chaotic, in a good way, but little scraps of images and words and stuff all jumbled together..anywayz, i see it now but maybe im just stupid, anywayz, great little poem here, much fun
in theory chapter 1 . 9/28/2005
It seems randomly inspired, I'm not sure you could sit and think this up on purpose. Or maybe you could, if you were a genius. But it seems like a surprise, and it works well because it has a delicate yet powerful abstractness in it. thanks for your comments, MM.
BangBangYourDead chapter 1 . 9/14/2005
very nice.

thanks for my reviews by the way.
Aimee Raven chapter 1 . 9/7/2005
Nice, I dislike the use of the word 'lesbians' though, I wish you'd just left it like it was, because it was clear you were talking about two women all the same, but it was much more subtle and I think that's nicer...great all the same! I've been thinking I'm bi lately so yeah...I like this :) Love, Mia
Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 9/1/2005
You have a stonge inner eye inside of you; you see glimpes of things that others would miss. You stop and look when everyone else would keep going. Keep up the good work.

Much love,Juliet.
Viola I. West chapter 1 . 8/13/2005
Simple and yet so beautifully written. Chestnut coffee, the woman in the pinstriped suit, sacrificial love... It's a beautiful but often neglected subject, and I'm glad to have read something so gorgeous.

This is silly, but I love the shape of the poem. It's edging out, out, out- and then, that last word, love. I think the placement of it makes it jut out even more, like WHAM! They're in love! Heh, anyway, awesome poem.
simpletonsgrin chapter 1 . 8/8/2005
another great one. I'm not really all that into f/f, but love is love, and sex is sex, whether sacrifical, lesbian, or straight. Anyways, nice work. You've won yourself a spot on my favoirte authors list.
B. M. Reed chapter 1 . 8/5/2005
oh it's great, so great. i love it so much.
ThisCut-UpAngel chapter 1 . 7/31/2005
Stripped for all to see; very well written!
Eagle Seance chapter 1 . 7/21/2005
hmm. i think i like this format. the last line was interesting. excellent work!
breezy nostrils chapter 1 . 7/21/2005
That's so cool...I like how you it's so simple, yet such a complex story at the same time. Nice job!
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 7/21/2005
interesting & unexpected ending.. great poem i love the toast line
LiL Angel with Wings chapter 1 . 7/20/2005
Hey! this is pretty good. I liked it. I just wanted to also let u know i've updated a lil and im tryin to get more stuff out. Just gotta find the time, ya know? Alright well good stuff, I'll try to read more! Thanks for all the great comments on mine!Dreamer to Fly
The Melissa Occult chapter 1 . 7/20/2005
I found it odd, not bad, just odd. Look me up on here if you ever have time, that sounds immoral to ask that though, so you don't have to. I liked the poem, everybody's poems are a little unique in some little ways, but from all the poems I've read on here so far, we all write the same thing. No one how ever different, has ever written anything truely unique, thats because we're all poets, what does the world expect us to do. well done. Good things, S.P.
oh frenzy chapter 1 . 7/20/2005
Beautiful. That's the only word I can think of to describe it. I love your style and the flow of this poem. You are truly gifted. :) Keep writing.
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