Heyy! Wow, this is a fabulous poem..."...sprinkling their beauty" thats a wonderful line. It emits such great imagery. I love your descriptions, they are so very eloquent. You undoubtedly have a gift... keep up the awesome work!

write on,-Em

A lovely poem. Very nicely writen.

This is so true about life, I could die today and the world would keep turning. Another great poem, which I would expect nothing less from a talented poet like yourself.

This reads like the sharp intake of breath as you hit cold water, it's so fresh. Brilliant.

Oh... *sniff*... that's so sad... *sniff*... awesome poem... *sniff*... loved it...

Wow! This is really good! It sent shivers down my spine! *twitches just thinking about the poem again* Really really good!*mouse is already half way to the back button to read more."

Hello there Kiran, okay, where to begin on this review for your latest, hot-off-the-press poem? (Sorry, also, that it has taken its time getting to yor review page, however, you knew what I thought of the poem as soon as I had read it a few days ago). The opening is absolutely impressive. You capture the readers attention immediately. I love the description, the ice cold breeze, the short, icy breaths. And I particularly loved the 'darkness swallowed me' - such a vivid and expressive description that it just leaps off the page, or indeed, the screen.

I enjoyed the description of the lifeless protagonist, the lack of emotions, feelings, lifeless eyes,no soul. The 'raw still-beating heart' is perfect example of a fine hand at writing, you have such a flare and an exquisite talent. And yet, within this sombre and sullen description of the dead body which is still, somehow, alive despite all the realism of no emotions or feelings, there is still beauty, in the form of the sprinkling stars - lovely. But still the reality comes home. The protagonist is dead as a corpse, with an un-moving body. But despite that, the body still can see the beauty of the sky - this poem is a mix of harsh and cruel things and pleasant, gentle things. The line 'My life came crashing down/ that one moment' reminded me of Glittering Rain, Glittering Shards, and I realise now that, this is an exact representation to how my protagonist had felt, and this is symbolic. This could be a continuation of my story - to describe what happens next. With this in mind, I can totally relate to this, and sympathise with the protagonist - evermore so - this is the perfect example of fine writing. The ending is, once again, exceedingly excellent, it shows that no matter what is happening to one person, the world still goes on. Some people won't notice - most won't - but this ending shows that the protagonist has been deprived of love and care and attention - maybe losing a loved one - which also matches my story greatly, but 'like nothing had ever changed' suggests it has always been this way. As a whole, the poem reflects a great wealth of feeling and emotive language, a story within itself, you allow the reader to guess upon your intentions, and the causes which result in the dying and living of the protagonist. Well done on a fine poem - you have come back again with triumph! I will continue to look forward to more poems, but, Kiran, if the poems to come are as good as this, then they are well worth the wait. Keep at this extremely amazing work - and I will talk to you again soon! ~DS~

very nice. i didnt expect that subject matter but this is very cool.T

wow all the feelings swirling around in this poem are amazing.

i think i feel like the character in the poem at times.

the topics for our poems overlap somewhat, hey?

take care and keep writing.

EB

beautifully written. i can literally visual the scene you have painted in this piece. i like it very much _ keep writting

~Dr. Draconimus~

I like this one a lot! The end is shudderific, lol. I think everyone feels like that from time to time, like they suffer for a world that just couldn't care less. By the way, that stuff "roses on a grave" said in her review on "Give in" is maybe not the best advice (no offense to her, she's just trying to help, I'm sure). You write the way you write, and just because it isn't the way she writes doesn't make it better or worse, just beautiful in a completely different way. That would be like telling a novelist that they should write their novels in poetry form because it would sound more eloquent... I think you catch my drift ;P I love your style; screw imagery, haha. Keep it up.