Reviews for he was velvet
mex.chika chapter 1 . 4/3/2008
beautiful poem.
relapse into change chapter 1 . 10/28/2007
i loved this

just amazing :)
hicetnunc chapter 1 . 5/22/2007
i really like how quickly is breaks off into the next line

and each line adds something new
The Love Demi Goddess chapter 1 . 3/20/2007
Beautiful! I LOVED this. Had flow, had emotion... Great job. This is something I would expect reading during an AP English Test.

write hard,

write long,

write until dawn,

~TLDG
generically beautiful chapter 1 . 2/22/2007
This gave me the shivers. It's so so beautiful, and so so close to home that it's...too much to think about. I wish I could erase people from my life.

Christine
crinkled aster ribbon chapter 1 . 9/14/2006
all i could think while i was reading this was that it hurt so much, because the feeling this poem describes was so familiar to me.

wonderful. i love it.
fairytale failure chapter 1 . 9/13/2006
Read this after reading aslan israel's poem based on it...it's funny, she found the best parts of the poem to incorporate in her own, so you were the poet behind the ideas, but Aslan's rythmic writing brings it to life a bit more.
a lonely september chapter 1 . 8/24/2006
i had to read this after what islan isreal wrote... and it's just beautiful. lovely job. sorry for the lack of reviews... im on holiday and i pretty much never get time on the internet unless rare occasions...
from beneath the bell jar chapter 1 . 1/12/2006
wow - I really liked that. Beautiful wording...great rhyme and meter as well. I loved the line "He was fairy tales with nightmare endings". Beautiful poem - haunting.
les petits bateaux chapter 1 . 12/16/2005
This is astounding work. The imagery was powerful, and the repetition of 'he was' adds to the effect of everything that he was and he wasn't. WOW.
reluctant writer chapter 1 . 11/1/2005
This was incredible! I can so relate to this. I love the poeticness of this too. The rhyme worked great. "he was lipstick breath/ vodka shots, nasty things/ with nicer names." I love that line! Good job, this is like the poem I've been wanting to write but just couldn't find the words.
Ebony Stars chapter 1 . 10/15/2005
why the hell didn't i review this when i read it first? probably because i was SPEECHLESS. This is one of my favourites of your work. left me green with jelousy again - how do you write like this? I love it.
Gilee7 chapter 1 . 10/11/2005
Holy crap. This one blew me away. It started out really good and I kept expecting it to fizzle out and the rhythm to end, but it never does. Every line is perfect. It's got like almost a sing-song rhythm to it, so pleasing to the tongue. I could probably copy and paste every line and go on and on about it. This if like a really sweet poem, happy in its sadness, but yet I can't stand this guy because he isn't actually with this girl anymore. "he was pretending all along"

Amazing poem. Absolutely amazing.
HellHeartedlyBent chapter 1 . 10/7/2005
beautiful...simply gorgeous. loved it
Devidedistand chapter 1 . 10/4/2005
Wow, romantic. Care to read my stuff?
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