Reviews for Mother Daughter Bonding
Pimpled Boy chapter 1 . 12/31/2005
This is really good. I like your formatting style. It's really suitable for this poem. Happy new year!
Shades Of Autumn chapter 1 . 10/13/2005
Ah...looks like I'm not the only one with mother problems.
Rhea Valente chapter 1 . 10/10/2005

:"I can feel the air thicken" I can relate to this SO much! AWESOME writing... what more can I say? There is NOTHING to fault it on! _
Plinky chapter 1 . 10/4/2005
Wow, great poem. I know exactly what you mean when you say "Have you never felt like that before? WHen you know you shouldn't." I know exactly what you mean, and you are so brave for writing it down! Great poem. I love your use of italics and bold text. Really good. Keep writing!
alexialynne chapter 1 . 9/9/2005
hmm ...your weak point is fortunately (or unfortunately) your strong point too. your poems are undoubtedly beautiful because of your amazing vocab and flowery use of words. i dont know if it affects everyone..but too many words..esp those big and deep words, distract me from the emotional aspect of the poem.

but if this is your style...keep it up. :) you have a flair for using words in a very creative way. :)
classic violet chapter 1 . 8/12/2005
That was an amazing piece of poetry. Very wonderful and sad. You captured so many thing, that was just so amazing. The ending was astounding, just so inredible.
Thorn's-girl chapter 1 . 8/8/2005
THis is your first time? o.O Well then, you have succeeded beyond all possible expectaions. My mum is calling me for dinner, but this is unbelievable. really, truly, not-just-saying that. Very well done. Write some more! Please...
Eyes Unclouded chapter 1 . 8/8/2005
Editing:"leaches" - ?

"It’s almost enough to make me physically wince" - physically wince? or visibly wince? sounds weird

Comments:I don't think you really needed to bold the word "loving" and the italicized words seemed out of place here (although I know how they comprise part of your style).

This really was sad. I didn't understand it perfectly, but reading it made my heart hurt. I suppose it was written sincerely or else it wouldn't be so moving. Keep that up - don't ever fall into the realm of superficiality - always write from your heart.
citrus scented chapter 1 . 8/8/2005
this is absolutely brilliant piece of writing. the descriptions are unique and so vivid and powerful. very effective piece. i love: "As they encircle my heart/Sending dulled, guilt-ridden throbs/Oozing across the hurting expanse of my mind" throbs...ooze...i love onomatapeic words. and "Into a melancholy soup/Of solemn saccharine sweetness" thats a really powerful line, becaus it conjure up the atmosphere so pefectly. but my favourite was: "Spiked crushing embrace/Anguish donning a gossamer covering/Of diluted sympathy/As it leaches into my eyes" beautiful and cleverly written. just fantasmic piece.
Accalia Aeryn chapter 1 . 8/1/2005
Great poem! It was VERY well written. I couldn't even tell it was your first try at writing about emotions. Keep on keeping on! _
Aquafied chapter 1 . 7/29/2005
hm, its sometimes interesting to write about different things.

i tried to write something happy and i got reviews about how different happy is.i found that amusing at the its nice to expand, but it does hurt more to write morbid and sad, usually due to the fact that you are sad and thats why you write.

interesting, fight on.
Pheobe Meryll chapter 1 . 7/26/2005
That's such a sweet poem...I know the feeling of it. Although it's based on a common childhood scene, I think you meant to apply it to later life as well. It's well written. I think you captured the emotions quite well - the feelings of melencholy tinged with anger and regret.

Thanks for reviewing my fable, by the way! Actually I hadn't thought to continue it...I know I ended it in a strange place, but it being a fable, I, the author of it, can't continue till I know *what happens* you'll prolly have to be content with that! hehe...but I'm working on a series of short stories I'll post soon, so if you're interested :D ...thanks & see ya around!
TheUnadulteratedCat chapter 1 . 7/25/2005
Hey, pretty decent shot at your first go at emotions! You're telling me this was your first? * *I really liked the feelings it gives the reader (That's me). The whiteboard part was my favourite. It is really suited to this poem.

What can I say? I think I love you for your reviews, that'd be a good start.. Favourite story? Lil' Ol' Story is in your favourite bit? *Speechless*

_- Well done!
Archipelago chapter 1 . 7/24/2005
Well good work. You really got the emotions down right. Just like my mother-person bonding. Like the part about the marker bunches. Formatting nice too.
in theory chapter 1 . 7/23/2005
Again, your style is brilliant. This poem is really passionate, very raw. Some of the metaphors you used were incredible, I was quite surprised by many of them (that isn't meant patronisingly by the way, ;) I mean, your style is really unpredictable) Genius.