|Reviews for Lament|
| Viktrona chapter 1 . 6/30/2006
intesting creative like majority of your work (i can't say all since i haven't read it all)ruby
| DarkAdonis255 chapter 1 . 1/15/2006
This is symbolic of so many things in life. Great poem.
| Joelle Duran chapter 1 . 1/5/2006
Oh, this reminds me of a poem I wrote a few years back.I love the repetition of the question throughout. I guess the only thing I'd pick on is the line:"How nature, life continues on its course"It seems a bit too wordy for the rest of it, perhaps striking the 'on' might , beautiful!
| blacktearsofinnocence chapter 1 . 12/24/2005
I think the sun is too happy. thats what i get from this poem. good job and KW!
| Eyes Unclouded chapter 1 . 12/17/2005
First off, muchas gracias for the reviews! I'm sorry I will not be able to return all the reviews ASAP, but expect them over Christmas break (at the moment, I should be finishing my research paper, hehe...I've become a procrastinator...).
Marvelous poem. I am by no means a poetry aficionado, but I believe similar topics have been extolled upon by other poets; however, I enjoyed this because-it went right to the point (unlike this overblown sentence). The repetition of "a man was killed today" is so good because the words themselves seem to tone down the passion and go for the fact of the matter - as if saying, "Nature, you dummy, can't you see somebody's dead?" I really enjoyed it, and the flow was great, as were the rhymes (thanks for not forcing them!). Let's nitpick, though: "do you care even but a whit" - the word "even" seems to throw off the rhythm, dunno why. Keep writing, though - lovely poetry (looking forward to reading some of your prose...)
I must return to my paper now, though; duty calls! But before I go, some quick answers to the questions you asked in your reviews: Yes, Music of the Spheres is supposed to have structure (I say structure, but when I look it over, I find sheer lunacy...kidding, kidding...there is actually a plot); I wrote about 10% of the story while listening to music. The other 90% just came out of me on a whim of will, so I chose the songs after writing each chapter. Also, thanks for the constructive criticism! I love it when people help me out like that (even the note on "shade" - I used that word because I was all in Vergil mode since I'm taking Latin in school, and "shade" can refer to the ghosts in Hades, so I was all like ghosts...cool... And I know I'm ranting so I'll shut up now.)
There used to be an ending to MotS, but I'm re-working it to make it more appropriate (I wuvvs Rubey; I shan't leave him to suffer...) which is why I'm so grateful for your reviews - I shall continue fixing the draft and finally post the ultimate MotS! YAY! (Okay, now I've gone crazy...need sleep...)
Kindred spirit, rock on.
| Caity Bean chapter 1 . 11/20/2005
I adore this one, for an odd reason the sun does tend to shine at funerals or accidents. I compliment you on useing gay, most people (I am not one of them) would respond to the word with a different meaning. Still a wonderful poem. caity
| Teh Outtawacked chapter 1 . 11/16/2005
I love your poetry...*sighs and flops on couch*i love the fact that, when reading this peom, you realize that at least one inyou life you asked this question in some way.
side note- *feels like a dope* sorry if i offended you in my other review (lang.) wether you said so or not. i apologise for not reading your profile earlier. i read it, and was like; aw, snickers, talk about opposite personalites. it kind of made me smile that you won't be reading half my stories because we are so different- but i enjoyed every one of your reviews! and i will continue the stalkage because of your sophisticated writing style. (i enjoyed reading your profile by the way!)
| rrmehta364 chapter 1 . 10/26/2005
so sad, but so true. i cant pick if uve got a better gift at poetry of writing stories. they're both awesome.
| Alzemu chapter 1 . 10/21/2005
this poem kinda reverts to happy and greif back and forth or something. kinda deep, can't quite put a finger to it...
| Chandra-Moon chapter 1 . 9/28/2005
You are so good at writing rhyming poetry that doesn't try to hard but just...flows. Very old fashioned-y feel but very beautiful. And I love the word flippant-i shall be stealing that.
Good job, keep writing.
| insanity by nightfall chapter 1 . 9/16/2005
awesome. can't think of a better way to put it. it just is. brilliant use of diction and repetition. keep up the good work!
| S0ulSearching chapter 1 . 9/11/2005
*stands there rather stunned* I love this! it conveys so much emotion and i like the flow...keep it up- and sorry it took so long for me to get back to you.-pammy-
| Earthsong12 chapter 1 . 9/6/2005
Very solemn...I like it, it's a good way of looking at grief. One little thing: unless you're trying to show rhythym, there shouldn't be a comma after "know you" (line 3) or "and" (line 6).
| Count of Casualty chapter 1 . 8/24/2005
I'm running out of adjectives to describe your writing w/o seeming redundant...Once again, excellent work!
| catseyeview chapter 1 . 8/19/2005
You point into a philosphical question I tend to ask myself regularly now...maybe because I'm getting older and understand that for a every moment there is a duality in the world, someone giving birth, someone painfully leaving...love blossoming, someone leaving, on and one...it's amazing that the Sun can shine still when it is gray here. I absolutely loved this poem. It really got me thinking.