|Reviews for Sexual symphony|
| Morbid Maxwell chapter 1 . 9/19/2005
- This makes me think of "Jesse"...FAVORITES LIST! I loved this one to bits too. (Gyah, the line!) Wow...wonderful again! I just...Sexual Symphony...I'm using that as a story title between Mirage and Jesse! XD I'm dedicating it to you, Love!
Morbid Maxwell-I smell a sex scene on the horizon.
| Clia chapter 1 . 9/4/2005
Wow, that is intense. Very good! Strong sense of sexual being.
| AllyCred chapter 1 . 7/26/2005
this is very explicit with out actually being explicit, if you get me...ur words are very simple but they give a deeper meaning and many mental images, which i can't really complain about in some circumstances, you know? well done, you'll have many remembering past conquests and experiences with this one. lots of love AllyCred
| Artemises Linux chapter 1 . 7/25/2005
I like this one...the idea of all the lovers a person has had in one bed creating a symphony is interesting.
| The Proxy Ninja chapter 1 . 7/24/2005
[Like a dog I can sniff out the scent of every lover] Eck, this makes the speaker sound pretty raunchy, primal and kind of disgusting. And it doesn sound like a graceful sexual symphony at all. Maybe if you take out the simile, "like a dog", and in a line after this, talk about the scent in synaesthesia. Or describe it on an emotional level.
[Mean only nothing when you leave] I think the word "only" should be omitted, and that "nothing" should be italicized.
[But take pride I the fact] This was already mentioned by someone else, but really! It doesn't take even two minutes to export this document and quick fix it and throw it back onto your site as a new replaced chapter. In forethought, you could remove this line altogether and just write, "But they mean everything when you're lying under me." Cutting straight to the point would make this poem much more effective.
[I bet I can make you scream louder then the last.] *"than" for comparisons.
It was an okay read. Hopefully my criticisms will be of use to you. Continue to flourish in your writing.
| forbidden passion chapter 1 . 7/24/2005
dammit reviewing my own stuff again! lol. but i made a mistake. i meant "but take pride IN the fact" a reviewer pointed it out! thanks. damn microsoft word and my clumsy hands lol.
| aLifeofPain chapter 1 . 7/24/2005
Actually, i really liked this. :) the last few lines are really great.
| account not in use chapter 1 . 7/24/2005
Ohh, I like. Very fuck-you-ish and yet very I-love-you-ish. I like I like.
| Kella Trams chapter 1 . 7/24/2005
I also, surprisingly, like this poem. It's got a nice twist at the end and I like the idea of the sexual symphony.
On the third to last line, do you mean to say "But I take pride in the fact"? or "But take pride in the fact?" because you wrote "But take pride I the fact"