this was beautifully written. i loved the imagery you created with the storm and especially the word choice. in Verdun, huh? you sure put your character through hell. a very beautiful poem overall though. keep up the amazing work.

the battle at verdun was perhaps the bloodiest and most damning of all WWI battles, and has been argued to be the bloodiest battle ever, with over 300,0 deaths and over 1 million wounded. to use the metaphor of a thunderstorm seems a bit short of what would truly encompass the horror of being there.

surely a storm is a great metaphor for war as you've used it, and I love the verse itself, but perhaps just pick a different battle.

Tragic beauty. You are such a wonderful writer. Brilliant job! Brava!

~Hip

wow. Maybe it's becasue i know you and where you were seeing but I absolutly love this poem. The imagary...the sense from the begining that it's not a mear storm. This is a grand example of writing.