|Reviews for Take Me With You Forever|
| Deltahalo241 chapter 5 . 1/22
Boy, you weren't kidding when you said Chapter 6 may take a while.
Anyway. I think the story is Ok. It seems to move rather quickly and I noticed some spelling mistakes. You occasionaly forget to give new speakers new lines as well.
Also I bet Etsuko is secretly a Yandere.
| Elven Wolf06 chapter 5 . 8/22/2013
Your story is amazing. I love to read it whenever I need to just enjoy a good story. I can't wait for the next chapter, and I can only dream of what happened next. Um... I know this is probably overstepping the boundaries but would you maybe like to talk a little. Maybe if you would like to. I'm not currently on this websight so here's my e-mail. . I know it's a little childish but I made it 7th grade and it's the only one I can remember my password. But anyway feel free to talk with me about anything anytime. I don't mind. And thank you so much for even reading this. Hope to see another chapter.
| winter-icy chapter 5 . 6/21/2006
hey there!i just finished reading the whole thing and OMG ur writing is awesome! keep it coming - i can't wait for more! Hopefully chapter 6 will be up soon! D
| Knightmare Elite chapter 5 . 11/16/2005
This chapter gave the story a huge injection of depth. I'm in awe over all the emotion infused in these verses. Everything had this surreal feeling to it, especially the parts of Kayori watching Etsuko sleep.
You can really feel for her in those moments. The way she stands there and looks at, and she feels the emotions swirling within her heart. It's magnificently done, but what really did it for me was when Etsuko held Kayori.
She penetrated the layers around Kayori's heart with her honest affections. It was a joy to read this chapter, and maybe it was me but it really wasn't that long. I was disappointed when it ended, and right at such lovely moment. As you'd say 'I hail this story!' It's so well written and emotionally deep.
| Knightmare Elite chapter 4 . 10/29/2005
Great chapter as usual. Very indepth with Kayori's life especially the wealth of background information. Her family life really adds depth to her character. It really gives incite on why she is so apprehensive toward Etsuko, it all makes sense now.
I'm really impressed with this story. It continually grows deeper and even more engrossing with each chapter. Now I'm really looking forward to the next chapter. Oh and don't worry too much on how long your next chapter is. Believe me, I have a 20 page chapter on my vampire story. ...though it's not something i commongly pracice.
Anyway there were a few small spelling errors about. As for your question about 'Bring me to life' If you intend to get this published you'd definatly have to change the song unless you can get permission from Evanescence's recording company.
| Knightmare Elite chapter 3 . 10/5/2005
The intro was a bit confusing but it all cleared up once I got into the story. What I liked about this chapter was the search in justification for her feelings toward Etsuko.
Kayori is in an honest predicament of the heart. She wants to know what she wants, and you expressed that wonderfully, and with a very nice ending for the chapter by the way.
I really don't like pointing out people's mistakes but since you asked this one really stood out '“Sure Kayori.” He says as h lets go and wraps an arm around my shoulders, leading me inside as the door shuts silently behind us.' I'm guesing it was supposed to be 'He says as He lets go'. I think there was something else but this review is too long already.
| Knightmare Elite chapter 2 . 9/17/2005
I really liked this chapter. Etsuko's a pretty cool person, especially because she has her life together like that. I really liked how the chapter ended, it was romantic even with the heartfelt debating. Good work.
| kekemapa chapter 2 . 9/7/2005
I'm a fast reader, right Tiffany? Haha, anyway, cool story. What does this remind me of? Haha.
| Shido chapter 1 . 8/3/2005
sugoi. i cant wait to read the rest. there are a few minors typos but oh well. yeah sugoi. truly sugoi. very impressed. please inform me when the rest comes into play.
| Knightmare Elite chapter 1 . 7/27/2005
Pretty good first chapter. I liked Kayori's down to earth personality. Her life seems typical of an angst filled teen, though it's strengthened with her band and their nurturing relationship. I noticed a few mispellings, but nothing really serious except for this line:
'He’s my best boy-friend and he’s like an older brother I never had; and unlike a;; those other male ass-wipes my age. I'm pretty sure you meant 'all' instead of 'a;;'
Not trying to sound like a prick just thought you might have missed it. Anyway good work so far.
| Erika Darkmoon chapter 1 . 7/27/2005
This is a really awesome story! You're a very good writer, and I can relate to what you write. Keep up the good work.