The revised version definately flows better, but I think I like the Original version more.

lol! love3

hahaha this is amazing! i love it :D

That was fun to read ;) The rhyming was great to me ... it just flowed in my mind as i read it, in that funny Dr Seuss sort of way xD

It really does make you smile!

Extremely amusing.

~CB

I don't normally like rhyming poetry as much as freeform, but in this case an exception needs to be made. You did have some awkward wording left, but hey. I really liked this poem so a word or two of jitters is well worth this completely charming poem.

Sweet.

Again, fantastic.

That's adorable!

i love it. it's not awkward at all. in fact, its clever and funny, but not in an obnoxious cutesy kinda way. it kind of reminds me of mother goose nursery rhymes, but it the best possible way. i'd say it is something to be proud of.

That was simply adorable. I wouldn't be ashamed of this piece at all - it had a fantastic rhythm and it certainly brought a smile to my face. It would be perfect in a book of children's poetry. Really, you have absolutely no reason you shouldn't feel proud of it - rhyming can be hard to do without sounding forced, and this just rolls off the tongue. You've done a nice job with this. Keep writing! :)

Very clever. I love the little dig at the plastic knife not being useful...Can never get those darn things to actually cut. Anyway, congratulations on sticking to a rhyme scheme; I can never quite make it. I love the lightness and rhythm this has- it was very enjoyable.

It was very well written (especially this revised chapter) and it made me smile. Good poem!

Pricilla Grey

That was brilliantly written! The rhyme and rhythm is perfect! The theme was also extremely hilarious! Go sporks!

I love your poem! It's great!

And I love sporks too.

Hahaahahahaha. Hilarious. Brilliantly done. Bravo.