This is really good. You descibe the setting and the character perfectly, and the plot is very well thought-out. The characters never seem OOC, and I like that a lot. When I started reading this, I was worried that Paris might turn out to be a Mary-Sue, because she's beautifull, a " spechail" angel, unusual name, and the like. But she wasn't one, because of the fact that she was still weaker than Armand.

My one complaint is the I wish you would have kept more of the traditional idea of heaven. I now this story is all about breaking tradition, but still, these are angels we are talking about. I would think that they would be agaist the war, given to the sterotype that peace equals love and goodness, while war is the evil side of it. Overall thought, this is awesome. I love your style and the grammer, for the most part , is perfect. A really good read that derseves to have way more than 8 reviews!

What a great story! i started reading this because i have been really enjoying Finding Eden, and this story is good as well. you have to be my favorit author on fiction press. your stories are better than many puplished book that i read, and i read alot. i hope you update this story, i can't think of why it has so little reviews. but, i love your plots and ideas and your take on heaven and hell. it is interesting to see Paris's feelings for Armand slowly grow and i really want to find out what the bet God got from Lucifer was! i cant wait to read more of your stories!

I really love this story. I hope you update soon! 8]

Alice

i love this story! i dont have a lot of time to write anything of use here right now, but i just wanted to tell you i really like this story and i hope you update soon! weel, then i'll see ya in the next chapter!

please update soon again! good chapter!

update soon! VERY SOON! lol. Lovely story you got here, keep up the great work. I like how you described each character as well as scene. Well done.

You're story's very good! It's very well thought out, I like the thought of God being a child it's very interesting. Please update soon!

Wow, I think this is really good. The writing flows well, the vocabulary is beautiful, and it deals well with the difficult themes of holy wars, angels and demons. Often I find novels on the topic cliched, one-dimensional and unoriginal, but this most definitely is not.

Generally, I can't find any outstanding issues wrong with it. The repetition of specific words in some specific sentences is a small issue. As an example - "...to underestimate Paris, with whom he had a dangerously close encounter with the blade of her sword". Here the repeat of "with" sounds slightly awkward. I noticed a few sentences like that.

"A war for the souls of men had been going on for centuries now, and it didn't seem that either side would allow themselves to loose the battle for mankind's eternal souls." Here the repeat of "souls" sounds a little tautological - starting the sentence with "a war had been going on", and pairing "war" with a fitting adjective, would only be one of many ways in which to resolve it.

But maybe that's just me being unfairly picky, especially considering how many common mistakes it seems you've avoided so meticulously. In any case, it's nothing major and easy to fix.

You're a highly talented writer, Yume, and I hope you don't ever feel put down. You've done a brilliant job and I'm greatly looking forward to the rest of it. :)

Wow! I'm hooked on this story. I love the way you casted God as a young child, and the way you said his one weakness was his inability to forgive. Simply amazing.I am currently working on a story that is somewhat similiar to yours, but I would say more controversial in my opinion. It is able a demon of hell (not Lucifer's son, though) and a young boy who is half angel and half sorcerer. It's called Hell's Angel. Perhaps when I get a few chapters, you would review for me if you have the time? We could help each other out if you're interested? E-mail me if you wanna I can't wait for the next chapter! Good, good, great, amazing job. *claps & waves banner*