i loved this chapter! be careful of the word "its" vs "it's." "it's" means "it is" you've confused those a few times i've noticed. i felt like things were explained better in this chapter than in the last one. good job!

~Mack

at one part instead of an ellipse you had three commas - typo. the writing in this was as well done as the first chapter but i was starting to feel like the characters knew more about what was going on than i did. maybe explain some things of this world a bit more? thats my only CC

~Mack

"until she passed out!" - no exclamation mark. Be careful of ellipses because sometimes in dialogue they can make it fakey. othertimes they work. in fact...thats the only thing i really suggest you work on - some of the less realtistic dialogue. other than that this story was VERY well done. VERY VERY. i like the idea, it'll be fun to see where it goes. your writing was perfectly described, i never once got confused. the characters seem realistic and all that jazz, i'd like to know a little more as to why the guy isnt good enough for her and why, if her parents are okay with the slave switchin places with her, the dad just doesnt say no to the marriage...but perhaps in this world it doesnt work that way. kudos!

~Mack

So Reisshen is the one descended from a god! Cool plot twist!

So that's where she went. LOL! Brian's a calculating theif ... she's a cold uncaring princess ... hmm ... they belong together! LOL!

Brian sounds like a a good comic relief character.

Reisshen! I was hoping to see her again. But ... uh oh! What about Maleran?

LOL! Marcus is like a typical man - he just assumes something and goes with it. Nice chapter.

Sorry I took so long getting back to this. It's a great story.

Randy that prince is, LOL! I like Reisshen. She's got a lot of backbone!

Caitlin is definitely one girl who has been duped!

it's really refreshing to read a story that doesn't have a mary sue main character.

~temblance

Wow. I am completely speechless at the depth and originality of this story. I do hope you continue on with this story, but I will understand completely if you don't, considering I'm the only one to review since chapter 4, it looks like.

I really like the colorful character you've created in Maleran. She's powerful yet approachable. And she seems to be a good fit as an ally to Caitlin.

The torture never seems to end for poor Caitlin!

Caitlin's in a tough spot. I'm very interested in this elemental she has an agreement with.

I'm glad I found this story. It has a very compelling beginning.