Reviews for The St James Sisters
Alexis Kent chapter 14 . 9/6/2005
One thing you might consider looking out for is the excessive use of similies in the first part of this chapter when describing the wave. That's all I have to suggest for this chapter; a very good one, 'tis! :) I like the scene with Sara and Charlie-and once again, I'm very glad you've matched them up. Personally I think that the age difference is not a problem-especially considering the time in which this story is set. They make a very sweet couple. :) And Gail and Nathaniel too. Aw. -swoons- I like how you portrayed Mary in this chapter. It's nice getting a glimpse into her mind instead of always seeing her in third person. :)

Update soon!
deedle-um chapter 14 . 9/6/2005

First. Like the story of to the nitpicks.I think you should try to settle for a year or at least an era. I see it as fairly modern times, but not as modern as to make sailing ships out of the first steam powered ships were always the luxurious and expensive one, while the last sailers were cheap, shoddy and I can't see this story taking place much later than 19th collides with your idea of photographs.

Photograps, sure. But no colours, they weren't much used until about 1950. It was popular for photographers to paint in colours on black&white photos, but it was mostly just to add skin colours. More, and I'm sure it'd look gaudy. So you can't read the colour of a childs clothing from such about the mother taking these photos, private cameras didn't become popular before early twentieth century. For this type of picture, they would most likely visit a photographer at any twentieth century, cameras were bulky, expensive, needed a tripod just as heavy as the camera, and could have exposure times well over a you look at such old pictures, you can sometimes spot support stands at the base of the peoples neck, etc. They were meant to help people stand still, so the photo wouldn't get smeared due to the exposure times.

At the same note, I doubt raincoats turned yellow until the invention of plastic. Before that, they used oilskins. Canvas smeared with oil. Perhaps yellow if they used plant oils with dye in it perhaps- More likely, grey or close to asphalt black.

Three. It was common for people to be washed aboard on these ships, especially with huge waves turning out from nowhere. As you described it, it sounded just odd if they'd be left with just a few scratches. I expected at least a third to have broken something be or just be washed aboard. It could have forced the girls to take a more active part among the crew.
Em Crosthwaite chapter 14 . 9/5/2005
The scene between Charlie and Sara in this chapter was really sweet.

Charlie sat silently, a sparkle in those green eyes of his. A small smile crept across his face as he watched Sara work. She was so gentle with him, yet every so often he’d cringe as she touched the rag to his forehead.

“I’m not hurting you, am I?” she asking softly.

Charlie shook his head, “No. Never.”

I think he's starting to feel aomething for Sara! Great chapter.
R.M.Whitaker chapter 14 . 9/5/2005
What do you mean this chapter wasn't exciting! I liked it! And I don't know if I've just been totally oblivious to clues you've dropped or if you haven't dropped any yet, but I have no idea who Mary will end up with. I think I have a pretty good idea about the other sisters though.

Great chapter! Can't wait for more!
Tangerine Dream chapter 14 . 9/5/2005
I really love this story. I can't wait for you to continue.
Taya chapter 13 . 9/1/2005
Nathaniel reminds me of the boy from The Secret Garden.

I have my suspiciouns about who Emy is love with. ;] I'm probably wrong, though. I usually am.

How old is Charlie?
Em Crosthwaite chapter 13 . 8/31/2005
This chapter was very exciting. I liked how you didn't just say "The boat was caught in a storm" and then went on with the sisters' stories, by having the sisters interact with the storm, the chapter became lively and exciting. I like the idea of a Nora/Sawyer romance, but I'll just have to wait and see what you do.
Alexis Kent chapter 11 . 8/30/2005
Oh my, a little intrigue between Charlie and Sara, hm? ;) Very good, I've been waiting for something like that to happen. :P One note, albeit a minor one-I doubt any photograph taken back then would reveal streaks of gray in one's hair. ;)
Alexis Kent chapter 10 . 8/30/2005
Ah, poor Nathaniel. :( I like how you portray him-though he's a snot, he occasionally does display that burst of feeling within him. The little game he was playing with the marbles, though a minor detail in the chapter, spoke loudly about his character, methinks.

Mary is increasingly irritating. I don't know if you mean her to be, or if you're just trying to free her up for one of the sailors, but at any rate...:P
Alexis Kent chapter 8 . 8/30/2005
Dear me. I do so hope Emy doesn't fall in love with Ben, or Nora with Sawyer. No, that wouldn't do at all. See, you've kept me reading. ;) Now, where is my popcorn and blanky...?
Alexis Kent chapter 6 . 8/30/2005
Howdy! I forget whether or not I've commented on one of the earlier chapters-perhaps I am growing quite senile, eh? At any rate, 'tis a nice little story you've got here. I especially enjoyed this chapter. Nathaniel's attitude problem is awesome, simply because of the fact that readers (myself included :P) tend to expect the invalids to be sweet, troubled souls who endear you to them immediately. Heh. I look forward to seeing how his relationship with Gail plays out.

I think, however, that you might not want to make it so obvious concerning who-gets-matched-up-with who. As far as I can see, it's fairly apparent who each girl gets matched up with. :) There's also a couple typos here and there-like capitalizing the word Red, saying head over "heals," etc. Besides that though, I say great job. :)
jessyxyz chapter 13 . 8/29/2005
The chronological order of these chapters did confuse me a little, but they were great nonetheless ;-) This sentence: "...Nora said and she watched as Sawyer threw the fish back into the ocean" seems a little awkward to me. Maybe if you wrote "..."Nora said as she watched Sawyer throw the fish..." it wouldn't be as awkward. Great job! ~Jessica
euphorictragedy chapter 13 . 8/29/2005
I like Nathaniel. He's becoming my favorite character. I always have liked him, despite his stubborness to be nice, lol.
R.M.Whitaker chapter 13 . 8/28/2005
Yup, Sawyer and Nora are just gonna have to end up together! That's just all there is to it, lol. And yes, I completely understood the way everything was happening. I must say, you're doing a very good job combinding all of these sisters' stories! So far I think it's running like clockwork, though I imagine it isn't I still haven't replied to your e-mail. I'm trying to see if I can finish it , now I have to go again. Great chapter!
R.M.Whitaker chapter 12 . 8/27/2005
Gah! I LOVED this chapter! It was so perfect! I can't wait to hear more about Gail and Nathaniel! Sarah and Charlie too!

Yeah, that case you were talking about with that Mormon girl who got engaged while she was still in High School is actually quite common in the Mormon culture. I don't like it, but it's true. It's not like that's part of our religion or anything, but for some reason it happens a lot. I know girl who's only seventeen (Rebecca's age!) and she's engeged. She doesn't really have a family, since they're all in jail or at boot camp or something like that, so I guess she's an ok exception, and he's like the only nice guy in her life. Plus, they won't be getting married for two years.

But yeah, I could NEVER get married so young! Heck! Being a wife and mother is HARD, and the more mature you are the better.

Ok, I have to go now. I'm going to an 80's dance with my sister and friend.
238 | « Prev Page 1 .. 3 10 11 12 13 14 15 .. Last Next »