Reviews for Tired And Bedraggled
One-Hand Clap chapter 1 . 4/19/2008
Ach! Again, beautiful in it's minalism. I loved it for that reason! However, I'm wondering if it'd look better if you tweaked the stanzas a bit, though. Instead of:

I’ll lose this

Like everything

I’ve lost before

Do you know

What I looked like

Before these rings appeared

Under half-closed eyes?

How about:

I’ll lose this

Like everything

I’ve lost before

Do you know

What I looked like

Before these rings appeared

Under half-closed eyes?

It'd give it as nice edge, to break it up a bit like that. Again, just my intrusive veiws working to iritate the Hell out of perfectly good poets!

- Clap Trap, from Review Marathon [link in profile]
Nobody-n-Particular chapter 1 . 8/3/2005
Before the weariness overtook your zest for life... That image of with the dark circles under eyes was very powerful.