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the symbolism and description is really strong in this one and i love it, love it, love it

i find that the coffee and cigarettes represents the faults that the lover had, but because love is blind, the narrator chose to overview them

but in the end all that's left are those faults as memories

i love the tone of this piece especially, which matched the overall image of the poem perfectly.

I like this poem's informality, it's very low culture, not saying its high and mighty at all, and it takes something into consideration about that fading love-in this poem as opposed to the others I've read, I don't think that you're as blatantly bitter throughout, until the very end of course when it comes out in "but this bitter taste"-just the way your speaker uses it kind of cuts your mouth up if you say it out loud, so I liked that there was a audible power behind it. Also, I liked the disregard to capitalizing the "i" in the first verse because I think it also has a double-meaning of your speaker feeling sort of small and insignificant, so it was a nice touch!

from the review marathon (link in my profile)

I have absolutely no clue how, but I found this, and i loved it. It truly was amazing.

The style is different and-since I dont read a lot of poetry, but still-i havent seen it before, so it gave me the impression that it was very unique.

Haha. Yeah i just thought this deserved a review. It was awesome.

~8days

I liked the first four lines a lot, the mood and tone it created, and the image of arms erasing all the bad things in life.

But then I think the reference to the "buttercolored walls" was really irrelevant. I don't understand why buttercolored was in parenthesis, first of all, and how you talked about slightly burnt toast? As someone else said, the burnt toast kind of links with the cigarettes, which is really clever, but the rest doesn't really make sense to me.

I also don't really think the parenthesis in the second to last line is necessary. It's obvious that the bitter taste is of the cigarettes and coffee.

This is a very good poem! I'm afraid I suck at reviewing so all I can really say is that I like the atmosphere it seems to create for me... I don't know what I'm saying, haha, but I really like it. :)

Here's your second RM prize review!

I like the focus of this poem. It's one small detail about a person, but sometimes those are the ones you remember best. Coffee and cigarettes is a unique taste/smell - I'm pretty sure I'd be able to taste it right now if I smoked and drank coffee more often.

I'm not sure that I like the use of parenthesis. Like with "(buttercolored)" - I was thinking that the color of the walls was being emphasized for some reason, but I don't have a clue why. And "(slightlyburnt)". I guess "burnt" kind of reminds me of cigarettes, but that's about it. I don't understand why the parenthesis are used where they are. I did like "(coffee flavored cigarettes)" because it followed "this bitter taste" and I knew why it was important.

In belated celebration to the Review Game's first Birthday! Thank you for allowing me to be apart of that community.

I like the flow of this piece. The words and their order, with the lack of punctuation lend a voice. I can hear the spoken poetry in this when I read it, it practically jumps off the page. I can see the body moving to a beat while reciting this. This piece invokes feeling and inserts imagery where there is none. It's original. The parenthesis change the voice but only for a moment, lending strength to the words within. I really enjoyed this piece. I would have liked to see some capitalization in here, well the 'I.' I think you did a wonderful job on the piece.

WOT! RM WINNER!

I like the free verse here (it is free verse right? cuz im not a poet...)It makes it very fluid. I especially like the phrases in parentheses. Those are like asides to the audience that punctuate the emotion in the piece.

One part that i took issue with was "run through my body (one/last/time)/who knew that one day" up until "one last time" the piece was one long run one sentence, which worked great with the lack of puntuation and the free form of the poem. but "who knew" was the beginning of a new sentence. there the lack of puncutation became an issue cuz i kept reading it like it was one sentence and had to reread to realize where the would have been a period and question mark.

Hope this helps Mini! Yay for Review Love!

Bubbles

Very nice. I like your use of parenthesis and the way it changes the tone.

This is absolutely beautiful. I really like the words in parenthesis, they seem to be emphasized more than the other words. It really adds to the poem.

the parenthesis on this one are so cool, they really add a lot to it

especially the (coffee flavored cigarettes) one

awesome

Really cute. Wistful. And I like the domestic, yet slightly off color, adjectives that you use.

I like the imagery between coffee and cigarettes, it's as if you think about that person when you're taking coffee or cigarettes.