Reviews for Pandemonium |
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![]() ![]() ![]() I L.O.V.E this story. It's too funny. Please update sometime soon? |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow, I've only read the prologue and already I'm hooked! Your style is very relaxed, very human. I love it. Smells like a bestseller. :] ~Caus Belli |
![]() ![]() ![]() "high-level demons'"-"high level demon's". I wouldn't bother with the dash. "Michaels' words"-"Michael's words". "Lazarus' eyes"-"Lazarus's eyes". "pomegranate's have"-"pomegranates have". You make many mythological references. I like them. I like mythology and I loved a class I took on it. Charon is definitely an interesting individual. The last line was hilarious. Nice work. Please update soon. ~Twilight Starr~ |
![]() ![]() ![]() "it's white-hot tip"-"its white-hot tip". "It's target"-"its target". "it's prey"-"its prey". I like her sarcasm. Great chapter. ~Twilight Starr~ |
![]() ![]() ![]() "defiantly drugged" should be "definitely drugged". A queen is addressed "Her Majesty". A princess is addressed "Her Highness". So really he should address her as "Her Majesty" like he did in the beginning. Nice addition. Things just keep getting better and better. ~Twilight Starr~ |
![]() ![]() ![]() "My Dad"-Dad doesn't have to be capitialized when you're saying "my dad" because it's not a title. Dad without the my is captialized because it is a title. "lot's of" should be "lots of". Nice cliffhanger. Great addition. ~Twilight Starr~ |
![]() ![]() ![]() I like Elaine. "Holyson" was a great hint of what's to come. Another intriguing and amusing chapter. Nice work. ~Twilight Starr~ |
![]() ![]() ![]() "Its times like this"-"It's times like this". "Have either of you gone."-"Have either of you gone?" ""Ow" I moaned," should be ""Ow," I moaned,". Intriguing addition. This story is an enjoyable read. Nice work. ~Twilight Starr~ |
![]() ![]() ![]() "My names Elaine" should be "My name's Elaine". Her boyfriend sounds gorgeous. Her narration continues to be funny. It looks like her mom is scary. Nice work. Thanks for the reviews of "Reckoning". I really appreciate it. ~Twilight Starr~ |
![]() ![]() ![]() I loved the summary and I love the story. Great job! Good luck with writing, this story, and life. Have a lovely day and a wonderful summer. ~Twilight Starr~ |
![]() ![]() I am looking forward to reading more of Pandemonium it's funny I like it |
![]() ![]() ![]() Please update soon! And happy early birthday! ] |
![]() ![]() ![]() hi, i'm new to your story, but so far i've really enjoyed it. you've managed to make me laugh out loud on a couple of different occasions. i hope you update soon. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I read all of the story up to today at once...man, it's a while between each update. 2005? Wow. Your life must be much more interesting than mine. I agree with the note at the end of the last chapter...this is the part where Paris really starts to get the magnitude of the situation. It's working so far, it's still new to her and she's still kind of in disbelief about the whole thing. but, something needs to happen that makes it sink in, and Paris realizes, well, just how important she is and everything she does is now. And, (although it's not a big deal), you do seem to paint the character well, but do you have to swear so often? Paris's more foul-mouthed than I am when I'm drinking with my buddies. Seems a little much for a reasonably smart high-school girl. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Happy birthday tomorrow How old will you be? Great chapter D Update soon! Though...it's kind of dragging a little, it seems. It could be just me, but yeah. |