Ok one major nitpick here our soldiers are not a bunch of untrained kids with civilian guns.

Why on earth is the U.S. military using a Soviet weapon that was phased out by the Russians in 1974? They would be just as likely to be using Startrek's phasers or Civil War muskets as they would to be using old soviet weaponry on US soil.

They also don't randomly start shooting each other inside US bases. Afterall, Zombies can't be that much more terrifying than dealing with people trying to blow themselves up every day.

Also, randomly killing your top scientists really isn't the best way to get results.

First chapter I really wasn't impressed with.

Ok first off. The story is well written, and an interesting read. That's two big pluses.

My only question at the moment is, how is this virus transmitted? I really done see any possible way for it to spread nearly as fast as it has in your book without being airborne. Which if that were the case everyone would be F'ed anyway.

This problem isn't unique to your "world" most zombies have the same issue but still doesn't make sense.

Example: The little girl, how was her dad infected? He sounded torn up, how did he make it back to the house to get his wife and daughter?

Just a quick post.

I really hope you don't add any new characters unless you kill off some. It's getting kind of cramped.

Looking at your recent works I noticed that you haven't written anything in years and probably have abandoned the site.

But, as someone who has a story (not yet posted) I feel this story is worth a quick review.

1) Writing: Your writing is very solid. Very readable, no mistakes, and you are handling jumping POV's very well. Notes at the beginning of chapters are done well.
2) Characters: This is kind of hit or miss, describing this guy in such "dreamy details" is usually a turn off for male readers. It's still early so I'm going to hold off any judgement on character quality.
3) Story: The story is still pretty early so I can't really judge much. Most zombie fans now default to a Max Brooks version rather than George A Romero.

Good, for having to switch perspectives so much you are doing a grand job, keep up the good work!

This was a pretty good chapter. Some spelling and grammar, but im not really one to talk. I have my own story on here, maybe you'd like to take a look.
Name: Zackary taylor's zombie log
Author: Me

I am really enjoying this story so far. The characters are nicely done. Good luck with your online comic book. ;)

Still loving this story. I hope to see it continuing soon as it's been difficult for me to find reasons to continue to come on the site to read stories without it. Keep up the great work, I look forward to reading it.

And thank you for being a main supporter for some of my stories, no matter how goofy or horrible they turned out.

~TTH

I think this is brilliant! I can see myself in the situations (A little too well, I had to stop reading this for a while last night as it freaked me out) I think the best thing about it is the way your characters react to things, very believable, and human. Cant wait for more!

Hannah

Nice updates. The prisoner's journal is still my favorite part. It looks like the humamns are going to take him out.

~SirScott

This is awesome! I'm writing a zombie story of my own if anyone is interested called Destiny: Unknown.

Yes! My heart leaps for joy at the update! Sure has been a while, but it seems that you do have quite a bit on your plate. Good luck with everything, by the way.

As for the chapter, interesting update on the prison group. Evil Robin Hood dropping by to say "hello" is never a good thing, even if he and his band of merry men do take out some of the wandering undead in the process, haha. Also, interesting that they still continue to choose to stay in the prison on their own where supplies are limited as opposed to joining the band of renegades (for lack of a better term at the moment). And nothing like stashing away in a safe room. I look forward to seeing how this plays out if/when they finally get into the prison.

I don't know what else I could say besides I love this story and hope you manage to find enough free time to scrape together another chapter sometime. Good luck with everything, once again.

~TTH

good story its getting better as you go

you should definitely publish

after proof reading and such though

maybe adding a lot too because even though you have only twenty chapters they are still kinda short

Wow, I have noticed that it's been this story is nearly three years old. I'm glad that you are still at it. It seems that we have had a breakthrough with this chapter. I wonder how the prisoners are getting along in this story. Keep up the good work.

~SirScott

It's nice to see that Tara found a friend. Is this the first chapter that you told in the third person?

~SirScott