|Reviews for Flight|
| Zireael chapter 2 . 8/9/2005
i love the characters and the story!
except for the unexpected gender change at the start of the second chapter "He slowly loped around the forest, exploring the area a bit out of pure boredom. She took a few steps and realized that the ground ended nearby. He went over..."
i'd say it's one of the best i've ever read
| pen-ink chapter 2 . 8/9/2005
Nice start! The characters you have in this story are certainly very unique! A couple notes: 1) I get the impression that this is a Midieval story, so it's a little weird when they use modern words like "cool." 2) When the syndicate attacked the final time, what happened to her mom?
Anyway, keep it up! ~penink
| Heatherika chapter 2 . 8/9/2005
this is an awesome story! i love the sarcastic biting humor and the interesting twistiness...and also the fact that this story is and/or will be a whole lot more complicated than you would think. i cannot wait to read how Shanae tells Faeron and Arvan she can't fly! update soon!
| cloverluck11 chapter 2 . 8/9/2005
O, very interesting story...love to read more!
| McQuinn chapter 1 . 8/9/2005
Wow! Intriguing isn't a strong enough word to describe this chapter. It's marvelous. The story idea, the world you've created, the vibrant characters - everything's awesome.
I think my favorite character so far has to be Faeron - he's a hoot and a half (whatever that means). Gave me a few laughs, especially with this line: "Why don’t you distract them while I run away? Faeron whined," as well as most of his lines towards the beginning of the chapter. You do like your dragons, as I can see. You're obsessed. I wonder why. :P
Arvan is mysterious. Would love to get to know more of his character, as he is basically unknown to the readers at this point. A vampire, possibly? He *can* see in the dark, so that's an obvious. I want to see what got him into all this HMS mess. Why is he wanted?
Shanae seems to be one of those depressed-but-proud types. She feels sorry for herself but won't let anyone else pity her. Wondering why she can't fly like the others do. I love her attitude, though, and can already tell there will be a lot of tension between her and Arvan. Loved the small banter at the end - thought that was quite cute. I also figure that having to close her eyes a lot to no get caught can call for some funny situations.
HMS seems to be a pain in the ass - would love to find out more of their history, and this world's history soon.
My only criticisms are some punctuation, capitolization errors, as well as missing letters (example: You wrote Hal Moon Syndicate). Minor, but they're there.
Will read the next chapter later on tonight, but wanted to review and say how magnificent this new story is. No doubt it'll be a fun answer to the ficathon challenge.