Reviews for Dead
lilallaboutme chapter 3 . 5/7/2006
Heehee! That was good. I love mysteries. I haven't been on here in a while but this was on my fave stories list so I thought I'd check back, and what do you know? You had a new chapter. lol Keep up the good work!
Jordan Baines chapter 1 . 3/28/2006
Molly, I read your story. Are you serious about criticism? If so, you may want to keep in mind your grammar. Some books that might be helpful are The Elements of Grammar, The 29 Most Common Writing Mistakes (And How to Avoid Them), Handbook of Short Story Writing, Plot, and The Elements of Style. Your Story, Dead, shows that you are an enthusiastic writer, which will be of great value when you submit your manuscripts to agents or book publishers. There is some confusion in the Prologue to Dead. In the second two paragraphs, it's unclear whether there are two or three figures in the alley. In your first chapter, it would be nice to see a little more character-definition. By this, I mean showing (not simply saying) how a character looks (build, height, etc.). Opal and Officer barge are more fully visualized than your main characters. Generalizations, as in saying a guy is hot in every way, mean different things to different readers, and you can be more specific. Also, guys are not described (in the U.S.) as brunette. It's a girl-term. Katie seems a bit stiff - I don't know anything about her except for her eye and hair color. Give her a definite build and some idiosyncrasies (cute little quirks that show her personality). Give her some flaws to work off of, too. This will not detract from her attractive qualities. It will let your readers relate better to her. Age is important to your main characters, too, but you don't have to list a profile sheet on them. Work in their age (maybe as compared to others in your story, as you did with Katie and Roger). Punctuation, as in quotes and commas, should be used as outlined in Margaret Shertzer's The Elements of Grammar. Is your story set in Meglacia or Maxell city? Try to keep to one tense, even when writing thoughts. Readers need to know the author's voice from that of the main character - unless it's told in first person. You want to avoid restating the story you've already written. You may want to attend a writing class at a local college, or join a writers' club. Or, better for your age, read trade magazines like Writer's Digest, Mslexia, Poets & Writers magazine, The Writer, or Writers' Journal. These will teach you proper format for your novel, poetry, script, non-fiction - almost anything you want to write. Use books (like those listed above) for learning the mechanics (grammar). Remember, ideas are a dime a dozen; Execution (of your idea) is what sets you apart from every other writer! You've got a real love of writing that comes across in your story. Harness that with the professional basics, and you'll go far!

See you in print!Chancel
Trinity-Morgan chapter 3 . 3/22/2006
Yes! You finally posted this chapter. Well done. Oh, and I have a little question. I didn't happen to miss your birthday, did I? If I did, I'm super sorry. I'll buy ya something.

-Bev
free-to-dream15 chapter 2 . 8/26/2005
hmm...very good so far! I liked how you started off with the murder scene..my guess is that the killer is either rogert or mark...or maybe jack...hm...*thinks* update really soon so I can find out what happens!
UpWithPokemon623 chapter 2 . 8/22/2005
I either know who did it, or know who knows who did it, or you are attempting to mislead the readers of your amazing story.
Caribbean Fairy chapter 2 . 8/19/2005
Hey! Awesome start! The prologue was good and I liked how you changed the angles from which the story was being told in Monday that made it really interesting. Please update! P.S. thanks for reviewing my story!
lilallaboutme chapter 2 . 8/19/2005
OMG that was soo exciting! Did anybody ever tell you that your really good with adjectives and adverbs? I'm already trying to figure out who did it! lol Nice story! I'm totally keeping up with this one.
Ms.Julia chapter 2 . 8/19/2005
omg.. jack and mark!
Trinity Morgan chapter 2 . 8/17/2005
Ooh...very good, of course. I'm happy that you're finally updating! You've got lots of reviews too, so well done, Megan! Well done. Anyway... I like it a lot. (Of course.) And I think you should update. (Duh.) So...I guess since I've said what I wanted/needed to say, I'll go now. (Good riddance...or is it?)

~Sayonara~
Amaya Windsong chapter 1 . 8/17/2005
wow, sounds very interesting so far.. i wanna see where this goes, so update soon! and thanks for your review on Never Let Go, i appreciate it!

rikku
lilallaboutme chapter 1 . 8/15/2005
I think this will be a really good story. I will definately keep up with it. I was a little confused int he 2nd paragraph. You used the boy a lot and I think that threw me off as to whom you were talking about. Thanks for reviewing my story! I don't think it's one of my best but I reccomend that if you liked it that you would please check out my other story! Your off to a great start with your story and I'm sure it will totally ROCK MY SOCKS when it's finished!
Rubyscarlet chapter 1 . 8/15/2005
I like this. It's got a kind of theme or ring to it that only certain people can achieve. Keep writing.
Trinity Morgan chapter 1 . 8/11/2005
Awesome! I'm so glad that you posted this! It's really good, and I can't wait for more, although I've kinda read up to the fourth chapter, but it still rocks. I've got you on my favorites list too, so you'd better update soon!

~Sayonara~
Clodhopper chapter 1 . 8/10/2005
short but very well done! i liked it a lot, the details were wonderful. i wish i had more to say, but im afraid that i dont. good luck with continuing on!

~Mack