|Reviews for The Course of Eight Years|
| Barbados chapter 19 . 6/13/2011
Nice chapter. :)
One thing. When you said "strong horsey smells," the word horsey totally pulled me out of the story.
Might just be me though.
Thanks for updating!
| Barbados chapter 18 . 11/22/2010
Sorry for the delay, but let's go!
Honestly, I read this like the day after you posted it, but the review function was being wonky and wouldn't post - and then I forgot all about it.
I like where you're taking the story, and I did not expect this chapter to end the way it did - it was an intriguing surprise.
Regarding a critique of some sort: try to use more variety in your sentence openers.
Until next time,
| Barbados chapter 16 . 8/10/2009
In case you didn't see it coming... Let's go!
Love the descriptions in the opening paragraph, that's exactly what I'm looking for - no elaborate detail, just some splash of colorful description.
End part II... hm... Ed hasn't left yet, so it's possible he could change his mind for part I... I don't think you'd do that to us, but I'd really like to see him stay, stand, and deliver ya know? But then the title of the story wouldn't make any sense, as I'm guessing TCo8Y is largely the time frame Ed is gone.
All of that speculation aside, I cannot tell you how excited I was - and still am - to read more of this story. I hope you find time to continue soon. :)
| Barbados chapter 15 . 8/10/2009
Alright then, Let's go!
Love the opening sentences, but just wondering: are they stained glass windows? If so, you might mention it. If the pinks and purplse are from the sunset itself, it seems to me that mentioniong the colors in the first sentence as "the pink and purple light of the sunset entered" fits better than in the next sentence, but it might just be a personal thing, hard to say sometimes.
Fantastic ending to this chapter. Seriously, that final line is completely gripping.
I get so into this story that I forget I'm supposed to be editing it somewhat. :)
| Barbados chapter 14 . 8/10/2009
So... Let's go!
"Councilmen, I find it unlikely that the person..." who is speaking here? The narative comes across to me like one of the councilmen is speaking but it's not clear.
Poor Willow. Great chapter.
you brought out the setting a little more, which I appreciated, and you're doing a good job of getting us into the heads of your characters. :)
| Barbados chapter 13 . 8/10/2009
Holy crap, for some reason FP didn't notify me the story was updated or I would have been by immediately! Thankfully I stop by your profile from time to time to see if anything's new. Well then, Let's go!
In the section where Willow is being aprehended by the guards at the gate, it felt a little rushed. It's also possible that I've been away from the story for so long that I don't really remember the description of the castle, and I didn't realize she was near a gate since last I saw, she was on her way to the servants quarters.
Lol, when Fred is accusing Ed, you say 'so that their inches were faces apart' which was comical, but surely not your intent.
Except for the odd slight mentioned above, the writing was pretty tight in terms of spelling and grammar I think. I didn't notice anything glaring, anyway. As a personal opinion, I would have preferred a shade more description (along the lines of the senses) about the surroundings. Nothing to in depth, just a splash of color as it were. :)
| phantom-jedi chapter 16 . 6/29/2009
Poor Ed! He's just trying to do what is right for the kingdom. If that treaty does go through, which it appears it will, it could be very bad.
It looks like Willow won't get the chance to tell the truth now, since Ed will be gone and Fred won't have much reason to finish pursuing the case. Rats. :)
| phantom-jedi chapter 14 . 6/11/2009
Methinks a trap is closing in around our young king. And poor Willow! This whole thing sounds like she, and Ed, are being framed by someone else. And I think I can guess who. :)
| Reomablue chapter 12 . 5/27/2007
That went pretty interesting. Good job with the explanation about the 500 Krell. And now I'm stuck so please continue.
| Reomablue chapter 11 . 5/24/2007
Can't wait to read the next chapter...hopefully you can install the next chapter within next week.
| Reomablue chapter 10 . 5/23/2007
I hope you don't mind the past reviews that I made, it's just that I was paying too much attention. I mean I really like this story and I am also learning a lot while reading it.
And about the offer you made on your review on my story, I'd be delighted if you can do it but of course I'd rather impose anything on you just some few tips may help me.
Thanks and more power.
| Reomablue chapter 9 . 5/21/2007
Forgive me but I just couldn't help it.
How could Fred know that it is his brother Edwin that poisoned their Father and not even a soul knew who would be the successor as the author have described it, so I am just wondering how?
Anyway I don't think it matters much, good luck and more power.
| Reomablue chapter 8 . 5/21/2007
I was hoping to know the speech that Edwin had delivered since Garrick gave an impression of liking his brother after listening to his speech.
Still, a great chapter.
| Reomablue chapter 7 . 5/21/2007
I expected this one coming, too. I don't know if i have watched a lot of drama that I longed to know more details about the real feelings of each of the King's son.
Everything was great except that I felt somethings missing especially when Edwin entered his father's chamber, If I were him I will bang the door open to see the King hoping he is still fine and breathing.
I also have one question, "What was the cause of his death?"
If the answer lies on the other chapters' please you need not reply.
| Reomablue chapter 6 . 5/21/2007
I also think that Edwin is far too young be King of Valka but again
it's up to you to make this plot as interesting as I think it is.
And so far you are delivering. Keep it up!