I was wondering when you're going to update?

i love this story. ur a great writer. always having good plots. just a quick question: is it told in one persons p.o.v.? or does it switch? i just got a little confused

I'm a little confused. I think you need more detail. You're talking about her at a concert and then there's white sinks and white walls or something, and it left me slightly confused.

Slow down, take your time with your writing. Write with more detail. I think you're kind of breezing through your writing, you have some mistakes and some things that you would think to yourself "I can't believe I wrote that" after you read it a few times. You know how a good line you write, you read it over and over, and it seems to just get better? Well, it's the same lines, they just get worse after you read them a few times. But it takes those few times to pick them out and know you need to scratch 'em.

In the second chapter I got really confused with the dialog. You make a new paragraph when someone new starts talking (or that's the grammatical correct way of doing it). But you start seven new paragraphs and it seems like it's the same person talking. (You only have one set of quotation marks). That's really confusing as the reader, because you think everytime a new paragraph starts, it's someone else. You need to put them on the same line. If you want to seperate them specially then use grammer to do it, like dashes, semi-colons or commas.

I hope I helped and keep writing and reading. Don't forget to proof read though. Through these things your writing will greatly improve with time.

~Laeden

That was wonderful. I really like it, the way it was written and the dynamics between the two characters.

I like this story. I never had the chance to finish reading it before. But I do like it

Wow. Incredibly angsty first chapter-definitely hooks you and makes you keep reading. Nice job.

Oh, you put an in-between, angsty chapter in. I liked, after I got over being confused.

Sentense three is my favorite. Poignant, and whatnot.

yay! I was glad to see you'd updated. It's great... really cool. Kepp goin' :-]

Nice and bittersweet story.I liked it! :) :) :)

I like this.

OH! You wrote the happy ending! Well, happy enough, for them anyway. I'm so glad... it is interesting how well they communicated there... even though they hardly said anything. I assume all the promises and excuses have already been made, or maybe they didn't need to be. I do hope they make it... and maybe they'll kick the addictions some day, too. There's a New Year's every year, just for that...

Wow... Beautifully written, so glad I found this story

So sad, so bittersweet. I loved it; I almost cried. Awesome job.

wow. ... that's sad. and so well written... and... -dies-. that's so sad! :( continue!

That was so well written. Every word tugged at my heart and brought tears to my eyes. I feel so bad for him, having to keep reliving that over and over. I wonder how singers do it? Aw, I love the emotion of this, and I'm going to let myself be sad for a while, but then I'm going to have to tag a happy ending on in my mind. So he won't be forever lost in the sadness of the song and the story. I'm not sure my heart could bear it...I'm so glad I author alerted you, this was a lovely suprise to come home from work to!