I knew he wasn't going to end up with Wes, but I didn't think it would be Donalee. At first I liked Adrian with Derek, until Derek told about Adrian being gay. But Wes was an ass so I'm glad they didn't stay together.

And now I will imagine that Adrian starts dating Donalee and they do lovely wicked things together regularly, Adrian's family accepts him, and they all live happily ever after! Thank you for sharing your story.

Wow! Omg! I should have seen that coming but I didn't! . I loved it though! Nicely done! Derek and Wes should be ashamed of themselves! Poor Adrian, come here, honey, I'll give you cookies.

Aww, poor sweet Adrian. So sad his first experience wasn't a good one... it was hot though. Nicely written.

Poor little Adrian!

omg I want all the boys to be after Adrian now. *squee*

Awww poor cute Adrian.

Oh this story looks like it;s going to be lots of fun. I love the characters. I really love Wes' eyes.

I really, really loved this story... UNTIL YOU THREW ME THROUGH A LOOP WITH THE DONALEE X ADRIAN! LIKE WHERE EVEN DID THAT COME FROM?! THIS WHOLE TIME ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS HOW MUCH OF A *BLEEEEP* DONALEE IS AND-LIKE-A;LDKFJAWOEFIJEWF-WHAT?! MY MIND IS BLOWN!

Okay -deep sigh- But then I got to thinking about it and I was like, you know, I kind of prefer Donalee with Adrian because WES IS SUCH A JERK! Like what is this even?! How are you going to let some sweet kid like Adrian do those things to you and you do those things to innocent Adrian in the movies then turn around and kiss your ex-boyfriend with the taste of another man on your lips? THAT WHORE!

All in all I still love this story, I find it to be rather relateable. I'm from a religious family too and the struggle Adrian is enduring is similar to that of my uncle and cousins (all three of which are in fact homosexual as well). I mean I'm lucky enough to have parents who are like, "God tells us to love each other and leave the judging to him". Which of course they're still saying "YOU'RE GOING TO HELL" but at least they're saying "but that's not my business so we won't talk about it". Beggers can't be choosers I guess. I'm rambling though so let's get back on topic.

You should definitely write a sequel concerning Donalee and Adrian, I don't know about anyone else but I sure would no-life reading a sequel of this. Otherwise, I really enjoy your writing style, it's pretty good. Not rush-y or too slow like some are. And I would like to add your word choice is appropriate. At first I thought all the characters liked him with the way they acted, but I honestly *loved* how at the very end you unveiled everything so the readers can come to a realization that all their feelings aren't on Adrian, but it's just a deceptive spider web meant to trick the audience. I really only see truly talented authors able to pull a stunt like that off (and by talented authors I mean the published authors that get famous from a book they wrote). I really wasn't expecting it, you're awesome!

Well that was nice :3

While I will say that your story kept me interested, I have to agree with some other reviewers' comments. Your story was kinda jumpy in the sense of the plot; that part of Donalee and Adrian in the shower was kind of strange and, in my opinion, not very convincing. I would think that a fellow gay kid would understand what Adrian is going through, no?
The only other thing that I think you might want to rethink is the realiistic happenings to a gay kid in high school. I don't know if people really beat up gay kids all the time (though I wouldn't be surprised of the name calling), but I just think that there's too much going on for this kid to survive. Humans are social creatures, whether we like it or not, and that level of no positive interaction I think would leave a far deeper scar than the one I saw on Adrian.
I liked how you tried to show the character development with Adrian though, where he was so quiet and compliant at first and through his trails learns to harden himself. Overall I believe this was a good story, I just think that you may want to revise some things. Not all of them may be good, but you'll find that heeding some of your readers advise might actually help you out.
Or not, I mean, I'm not you and for all you know I'm some dumbass who doesn't know shit. Just think about it.

I agree that this was leaning a bit more towards angst than romance/humor. And the protagonist was a little too resilient with everything that had happened to him, the poor guy. I wouldn't have been so forgiving.

Good job in misleading the readers into thinking that everyone had a thing for Adrian though. I'm glad that it had a HFN ending for him at least.

Seriously whats' up with this story? It is supposed to be humor and romance and all I read is angst. Angst of a boy with bigoted church officials, dislikable parents, a blackmailing stalker, a jerk of a coach who totally disregards his wounded ankle, and a creep who kiss him and then call him a slut. That's not funny at all

DerekxAdrian! :3

Hahahah! Aw im derekxadrian now :3