Reviews for Hidden Valley
Mary Chrys chapter 18 . 11/29/2007
'Kay, I just wanted to say that I really like your story, and you seem like you're a really good writer. (Probably better than I am...) I think the plot is really intriguing. But you keep saying your story's going to get darker... And it does, I guess. It's just.. you don't seem like a very dark person to me... Anyway, your story is great!
Bean Langdon chapter 25 . 6/15/2007
Okay, I read it...I've forgotten about half the story by now, though. Yet (somehow) it still made sense. Very nice.

I would have known you updated, but I forgot to add this to my alerts. Whoops.

You were a bit repetitive with what Rina said...and Triden's walking in and out of their room was rather...umm...sudden. And it sticks out like a sore thumb.

Were Deagan and Rina really on such terms? I probably have forgotten that part, though...never was a good one for pairings...but oh well.

This chapter feels like a filler.

...

...I'm sure it'll get climatic soon, though.

Waiting patiently.

-Bean
Holli-chan Stevens chapter 24 . 8/6/2006
XD so many names... so confusing...

I love all the little intricate plot twists that you put in here. I mean, how do you KNOW what's coming up next? XD i write like a reader, and suprise myself with the next chappie.

Again, just a few things, nothing a grammar check wouldn't fix. You're getting great.

See yas!

-Holli
Holli-chan Stevens chapter 23 . 8/6/2006
Bwahaha, I love Deagan. He's so adorable... *hugs*

one word: proofread. just a little, not too much, but you've got a couple spelling and grammar errors through the whole thing.

You are getting good at this, moons. XD how do you keep up a plot that long? The longest I've ever gotten is nine chapters! And even then it was terrible!

PS review me. i've added a chapter to a city doomed, and i am revising the weird-titled one (i can't even remember how to spell it). Great chappie. luv yas!

-Holli
temblance chapter 13 . 7/4/2006
Unicorns! I was thinking about them the other day...no one writes about unicorns anymore. I was glad when I read this chapter and you mentioned them.

Your authors note mentioned that this story would begin to get a lot darker- I am so excited to read the rest of it, especially since I do not have to wait for chapters while I am catching up! Until next time,

temblance
temblance chapter 12 . 7/4/2006
well, I'm back again...and I really enjoyed this chapter. Though I have many more to go.

One thing that was questionable: "All she had to do was visiualise what she wanted to happen in her head, and say the spell exactly right (this was hard as they were all in the ancient language of Laen" -since you just finished talking about how easy magic was for Rina, I think that mentioning how hard the language is kind of contradicts the point.

Otherwise, I enjoyed it and it ended on a cliffhanger! I have to read more.
free-to-dream15 chapter 24 . 6/29/2006
Finally I get to read (been out of town) This was a good chapter, a bit of a filler, but good none the less. Update SOON!
Bean Langdon chapter 24 . 6/23/2006
Hey! I read it!

Okay, it's pretty period at the end of the last sentence...but I thought they had *science* so they could make their own paper.
Silver-Plated Wolf chapter 5 . 6/20/2006
Nice chapter the last chapter was short but now it's complemented by a long chapter i like it sofar keep it up
earthsong12 chapter 24 . 6/18/2006
yay for a new chappie! I like that the imp was grinning impishly, very appropriate. _ Good job, keep writing more!
Crewger chapter 23 . 6/16/2006
WAW! Ur good! The big story goes up and down and back up and it's so good! Keep writing! -Linlin- 0
Bean Langdon chapter 23 . 5/26/2006
uh, this could be bad for Triden...what's your next goal? You forgot to say, so I'm just reviewing randomly.

But post up soon! :)
Bean Langdon chapter 22 . 5/26/2006
whoot!

I'm finally reviewing!

I'm guessing that Rina and Deagan will fall for each other or something like that, but I hope you're not that predicatable. Lol.
ice illuser chapter 1 . 5/26/2006
...put the whispered part in italics, i think...it's pretty good, but how useful is this centaur anyway?
free-to-dream15 chapter 23 . 5/20/2006
Oh no! I hope Triden is going to be ok! Although, I like Deagan a lot so you better keep him around! lol WEll update soon!
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