|Reviews for The Alliance|
| RYTwinDemon chapter 9 . 12/17/2008
This has been really interesting so far! I like the way you write, although there are some times when I get confused, in the parts where you switch the character's point of views... But maybe it's just me.
I like the way you do the dialogue between your characters, it's very realistic. _ I really enjoyed reading this so far, so I'm gonna continue reading the rest!
| Fotherfredrick chapter 13 . 8/2/2008
not bad seams to be predictable though
| XXXXX XXXX XX XXXX XXXXX XXXXX chapter 1 . 12/17/2005
Very interesting! Your writing style reminds me of K.A. Applegate's (good thing) :). You make use really subtle wit and cleverness, and I can't wait to read more into this! The good thing is that you give lots of mysteries in the first chapter, which makes people (myself included) want to read more!
| changeling0203 chapter 8 . 11/8/2005
Frankly, I'm surprised Jordan hasn't been the victim of a hate crime yet. It's really hard for guys to be as out as he is. One of my gal friends is bi and she really hates the stereotype of gays liking people of the same sex, straights liking people of the opposite sex, and bis are just greedy. At first I thought you were writing Jordan as a bi stereotype, but his personality is much more developed than that and Jesse isn't showing any gay stereotypes. So why'd you have Jordan be so promiscuous? I like the irony of the most antagonistic person looking like an angel, but I have a feeling that sexual promiscuity is part of his bad boy exterior, so is this your personal opinion on sex, or is the way he relates to himself as a sexual being part of what makes him the team's bad boy?
I'm curious about Mark Folds, too. He probably won't show up again in any major way, but, man, he's going to have a tough time for the rest of the year. I hope he graduates this year because that boy's social life is going to suffer now that he's out.
At first Michael pissed me off, but now he's starting to grow on me. They all are. They all have such defined characters (Cody's and Jesse's personalities are starting to blur a bit) and I love how they work together as a team. Very realistic. And, for some reason, the name Falcon doesn't seem at all cheesy. I hope this is one of many storylines.
So this is to make up for all the chapters I didn't review on. Oh, and please don't have Jesse end up with Jordan. I saw a drawing with the two kissing and I think Jesse can do better.
| changeling0203 chapter 1 . 11/5/2005
I like it so far. Interesting. But the last argument between Jordan and Jesse sounds like two young teenage girls arguing. It'd be more realistic if, instead of saying "You" and then throwing in petty insults if Jesse just mumbled, "Ah, fuck..." and then Jordan said something snide. Jesse seems to sweet to be so aggressive in this seen.
| hotsauce6548 chapter 7 . 10/1/2005
Really good chapters. Your writing continues to be fantastic. Please continue this story!
| defenestrator chapter 6 . 9/25/2005
HIYA!This is a really interesting story so far. Your detail is phenomonal and your characters are well done and seem so down to earth. I look forward to seeing how they grow into their abilities and what their personalities and relationships will be like once they become more accustomed to each other. Keep up the good work, and I look forward to more mutants!Peace out,Penguinfury
| hotsauce6548 chapter 4 . 9/18/2005
This is really great writing. If I were you, I would seriously consider making this a novel, and trying to get it published.
And believe me, I don't mean that lightly.
Your writing is awesome. You have great descriptions, and an increasingly intriguing plot. Please don't give up on this story, and continue to write!
You're also going straight to my Favorite Authors list. ;)
| hotsauce6548 chapter 1 . 9/17/2005
Really cool story. I like the concept. I've only read up to the third chapter though, so I'll have to read more later.
It was a bit confusing at the beginning, but I'm sure it will clear up later. Keep up the good work!
| ADSpencer chapter 1 . 9/15/2005
Cool story, I'll try to read the rest later. One thing, though, at the beginning of the story the whole first man, second man, girl thing was a bit confusing, but not terribly so.
| dakangl chapter 1 . 8/21/2005
cool storie.. bit conusseing right now but it will probaly make more sence soon. update soon please!