Hmm...the summary sounds interesting, and the title sounds...um...unique. Jas seems pretty cool (with the punching of Alanna's boss and blue hair), Alanna too I suppose, coz mums would usually freak out if their daughter dye their hair blue. Jas is also quite witty during her conversation with Mr. Malett, unless she's used to her mother working for jobs like that. We haven't got much descriptions on Jas, other than her hair and eyes, but I suppose they will be established as the story develops.

Alanna's a romantic and she gives off this air of innocence. Her 'multiple breakups' make her seem a little weak-willed and easily manipulated. You'd mentioned that they (Jas and Doyle now) lived in the same town before, and that Jas attended three high schoolsin four years, so I suppose Alanna never stayed long on one job.

Doyle sounds interesting, and I have a feeling he would be a constant in this story. Dominic still remains a mystery, though we've read alot of not-so-positive comments about him. I suppose this story is also going be high school themed like Against All Odds, though I hope the difference would be greatly noticeable. A great start, I should say, and good luck with the next chapter.

already loving it..dominic sounds so hot already and you havent even gone into any description of him..hehe

update soon

Great start. I loved Against All Odds and I know I'm going to love this story just as much, maybe even more so :)

I really like the way you write. You make it seem so easy and your chapters just flow so well.

As for the chapter, I already love Jas. She reminds me of myself ... cynical and sarcastic. I also love the blue hair and the fact she calls her mother Alanna ... nice touch.

Look forward to the next installment :D

Okay, I'm not. :D HAhaha :D

I think I'm the first! :) I loved the Sonic allusion in this - very cool. :D and i love the word saccharine. not a big fan of her name, but then again, neither is she. :) it's an interesting start, and i hope you'll take it in a different direction... it's easy for stories by the same author to become alike, so i'm hoping this'll be an exception to that. Hope your characters will be as human as the ones from AAO - but I also hope you'll make them different. It's easy to fit them into character-casts. don't worry about the number of pages each chapter consists of - as long as the content's good, we're all happy here. :) it'll be cool to see if you adopt a different story-telling style too... anyway, i'm hooked already. and i hope the sequel to AAO will have Logan in it - he's as enigmatic as ever, and it'll be nice to (try to) understand him.

wow...you have really a big gift from God-your writing,it is fantastic,you give enough details but you dont over-do it,the plot is great and overally you make up for a great writer:)And this story is beginning very well too:)Oh,and blue hair?Great idea;)Cant wait to get to know Dominic though,he seems interesting!

I like Jas. More specifically, I like the fact that she messed up her hair and it's not supposed to be entirely blue, but is. It makes her more real than a girl who dyes her hair blue on purpose, if that makes any sense.

Doyle sounds huggable, and I love that his mother is the total opposite of Alanna. In fact, I'm liking all the characters thus far. This isn't too much of a surprise considering how much I enjoyed your characterizations in AAO, but I thought I'd bring it up anyway. You've got a great sense of what makes a character pop off the screen in their own humanly unique way, and it makes your writing a joy to read.

Wow, great one! I liked the characters and all the things that are happening in here. You have a great way of capturing the character's personlaities words. WOW...I want to read more!

great story! update soon! will jas be in the same school as dominic?