|Reviews for Piece by Peice|
| Mira James chapter 1 . 2/18/2006
I really like how you presented this peace, it’s done incredible well, I love it.
| Laura Barton chapter 1 . 8/29/2005
Though short, this is well written. I think the repition works well in some spots but in others it's kind of awkward. For instance, in the beginning the repeated "it woke him up" was strange and almost seemed like a poem or song to me.
The thoughts need some form of punctuation in them. As it is at present the only punctuation you have in any of the thoughts is a question mark.
The description is well done for the most part. The only thing that I think needed perhaps a little more description was the description of the female who was humming. You've explained her facial expression and appearance, however what of the rest of her?
"Then, fingers white and cold, he glanced outside once more." I find that sentence a little confusing and it honestly took me three readings of it to understand what it meant. Perhaps I was just reading it too fast the first couple times or I just didn't catch on quick enough, but it confused me. I understand it now.
| WanderingxXxSoul chapter 1 . 8/27/2005
Wow...spooky. :D Hehe.
You did a great job on the detail, though I was a bit confused about what this "thing"/"woman" looked like. (Perhaps you could add how she was standing, if she was. Or how she skin looked, what she was dressed in, ect.) That and the grammer. XD You could use a couple periods or "..." on some of your thoughts. Other wise it was awesum.
| Merlin85 chapter 1 . 8/26/2005
Perhaps a little overdone (the story where it ultimately repeats) but otherwise a suspenseful piece. I couldnt wait to read more. Nice detail and description also. *thumbs up*