|Reviews for splitend ever after|
| One-Hand Clap chapter 3 . 4/20/2008
I loved the ending - not that I loved the death of the protagonists, in fact I abhorred it! - but I loved the way it was executed because it was so unexpected. So well done on that! And kudos!
However, I'm going to niggle you one last time, and then leave you alone - I don't like over-formatting, escpecially with poems, so I didn't see why 'made' had to be bolded/italicized. It kinda annoyed me! Having it alone on its own line is emphasis enough, I feel!
- Clap Trap, from Review Marathon [link in my profile]
| One-Hand Clap chapter 2 . 4/20/2008
Again, I liked the imagery - escpecially that of dead dragonflies, tangled in the heroine's hair! It really stuck with me, in my head, and I could actually imagine it behind my eyelids. It was an interesting mental image!
However, once again, I'm going to niggle inconsequential at you - I think the rhythm of the first three lines is kind of off-put, and would read better:
she was a desperate attempt
at once upon a time.
| One-Hand Clap chapter 1 . 4/20/2008
The imagery evoked in this poem was absoloutely spectacularly! It gave me chills, honestly! - The ideas of white roses forgotten by a rushing society really made me think. However, I've got to say, I found this one thing irksome (I'm pedantic, so bare with me!):
(miracle miracle they all cried
Shouldn't it read:
'miracle, miracle,' they all cried.
- Clap Trap, from Review Marathon [link in profile]
| I wish i could fly chapter 1 . 11/27/2005
this is one of those odd but magnificent things you run into every once and awhile that make seaching for them worth it...i don't think that made sense. whatever. wonderful
| eyes of sky chapter 3 . 11/10/2005
i really like the structure, the way it is separated into 3 parts. for some reason the line 'she cried on wednesdays' was the most significant for me. it showed some of the self-deception.
| Ebony Stars chapter 3 . 10/14/2005
only just discovered these little gems. Unusual, and as you said, not your usual style but still thought provoking and equally fabulous.
| Chandra-Moon chapter 1 . 10/8/2005
beautiful. even though we don't know why he's a miracle, that's what I love about this poem.
| the big sleep chapter 3 . 10/4/2005
Probably your positive best thing here. It's unconventional for you, it's concise and to the point, it has wonderful imagery, and it has a great impact. Really, all around amazing in my book.
Awesome job- keep at it.
| HellHeartedlyBent chapter 1 . 9/30/2005
one image, one idea. one crazeh piece lol. very nice imagery in the space you take
| Sarah-Brighteyes chapter 3 . 9/8/2005
The end? The end...
Wow...I was not expecting this end. Yet it was almost forshadowed to me in the last installment when you used the word, "desperate".
You have a wonderful way of telling a story in such a short emotional ride with your words. I think your one of the only poets I know who can do that and just "bam" bring me to a smile or tears or whimsic after-thoughts.
bravo as always to your poetry.
| Sarah-Brighteyes chapter 2 . 9/8/2005
This reminds me of my own imaginings that seem to invade my mind sometimes.
This was beautiful and maybe because it was relatable... it was sad.
Almost cringing on a smile, if that makes sense as I read this. I love the feeling so far in this collection of pieces. A goosebump feeling that better and better will be coming.
Onward I say...
| Sarah-Brighteyes chapter 1 . 9/8/2005
I like this..."never before seen on tv miracle." Sounds like a made-for-tv movie million dollar maker.
I like the way it flows...the repitition of a the words miracle and nothing.
It seems almost test-tube like to me...I felt a sort of tinge of mystery...but then again the word miracle is supernatural most of the time.
Bravo and moving on...
| simpleplan13 chapter 3 . 9/6/2005
I like this... way more straightfoward than any poem ive every read by you but still beautifully described and very true
| simpleplan13 chapter 2 . 9/6/2005
very cool.. great descriptions
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 9/6/2005
wow.. powerful and beautiful & amazing