Reviews for The Obsession with Jack
justanotherdeadaccount chapter 23 . 9/30/2007
I think everyone and their mother has watched HSM...and the sequel. I was just listening to 'what I go to school for' the other...such a naughty song but so fun!

I love the song! I am so jealous of your song-writing skills!

I like how you linked the chapter with the song by using 'black cherry' nail varnish.

("Ever since I watched She's All That and Rachel Leigh Cook gets a makeover to make her prettier and it changes her life and she gets the guy. Shallow bullshit. I love that movie.")I haven't watched She's All That (the shame! the shame!) but I love shallow bullshit.

And gosh, only Tillie would think a green wig would make Rosie fit in. For some strange reason I have this image of a neon green afro on Rosie's head.

But Tillie's really nice, trying to give Rosie confidence and boost her self-esteem. And everything Tillie says, it sort of explains why she's so comfortable with herself.

(I know that he's laughing at me, but I don't really care.) See! Proof of Rosie's awesome development as a character...before I'd imagine her stomach would start hurting and she'd become red with embarrassment.

Yay! Cyan. Even as a barely character-character I also like her. Especially when I first thought she was a super spy chapters ago.

What I found a bit strange is that at first Rosie remembers she's seen Cyan with Tom before, but after Cyan says that it's nice to see she's well, she starts panicking and wondering how she knows her.

Oh, and who wouldn't want to marry Zack Morris?

(It's like you have no concept of self or something, like you've just sprouted up out of nowhere and have no idea why or how - like you have no idea that you even exist.) Oh my gosh, best line ever. I think it really describes Rosie well, because it is so sadly true that she does seem to be just wondering why she exists and doesn't seem to come with that self-preservation everyone has. The whole taking the blame for Cleo almost killing her and THEN, on top of it all, saying Cleo rescued just validates Tom's point.

I love Tom even more so after this chapter, although I have to wonder why he's so persistent in making Rosie open up. Was she some sort of project for him at first? Or was it because he saw her with the MP3 and that sparked his interest in her and was befuddled by her inability to be open when he is quite the opposite.

Gosh, trust me to over analyze everything.

Loved this chapter and can't wait for the next one! Cleo so needs to be brought down (hint)(hint)...and I still feel unsure about Rhys. I can't believe this story is so close to ending.
Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 23 . 9/27/2007
Heya there! It's me again lol! XD Anyway, glad to see you updated as of now... guess I can only review this chapter only... anyway, nothing to complain here. The exchange was quite good and it really seems that Tom wasn't that screwed up after all although I suspected it to be the truth for quite some time lol! :D Anyway, nothing much to say here. But overall a good chapter except maybe you may want to go more detailed on your descriptions...
Unknowning chapter 23 . 9/25/2007
Ah, Tom, Tom. I love Tom. He is seriously one of my favorite male characters, or characters in general ever. He was unbelievably annoying in the beginning, but I still liked him a a bit. But he's developed-great job with that. He is more than annoying he's Tom. I can understand the frustration that he has towards Rosie. I love this story, I'll be sad when it ends. :[
justanotherdeadaccount chapter 22 . 9/22/2007
First of all I need to get this off my chest: I LOATHE CLEO. I do, there are no other words for it.

Secondly, I'm so sorry I took long to review e-mails messed up and I don't get fp alerts or LJ replies. :(

I love how Jack has come out less than perfect and pretty much opposite of what we'd expected (and that he's had me worried woman!). And, I'll admit, I also love that this gives a chance to Tom *crosses fingers*. (hopefully Tillies suggestions were all hints to us readers!). Or Rhys? It's strange how Rhys turned out to be the one whose personality was most similar to her.

Oh! And this has to be one of the funniest chapters yet...her blunt observations (..."saw someone who wasn't Sharpay pulling a blue curtain"...) but I hate that she took all the blame. Cleo should be behind bars! I mean what sister does that? Only PSYCHOTIC ones.

And I thought how she kept on asking for some time to herself was realistic, but I was surprised that she didn't get annoyed the lady kept on saying 'sure' but never left until she got what she wanted. And then saying Cleo, of all people, saved her! Gah! It made me so angry.

Oh...and who can't help but stare at Matt Willis, eh?

I'm a biologist too! Although I loathe Darwin. It's pretty unfair how Wallace contributed to the theories and Darwin just took all the credit.

And I finally get why Tillie says Jack's dead. Because it's not the same Jack they all knew/wanted to know, is it?

Anosmia. Hmm. That's harsh. Guess his food will taste rather bland now, huh? Poor Jack.

"This is mine! I gave it to this guy in exchange for his car, which I smashed." So, is this Tom? Does this mean that's how Tom got to know about Egburt 2 as well?

This chapter made me realise how much Rosie's changed as well. I doubt the old Rosie would dare to ask Jack for a kiss. Or even be able to handle his contempt (even if it's aimed at everyone & everything).

Anyways, I'm dying to know how this will end! Can't wait for the next update!
Twilight Starr chapter 1 . 9/15/2007
Interesting, good beginning.

This story definitely has potential.

Good luck with writing and this story. :)

~Twilight Starr~
A.K.A. Writer's Block chapter 22 . 9/12/2007
bleargh, rhys and rosie, yes.

and jack is now a jerk...

will we ever know what he was like before?


i've gotta get some sleep now.

i'm so exhausted that i am, quite literally, in pain.


lol, why did i just say yikes?
ForBlueSkies chapter 2 . 9/9/2007

this is gd stuff!

Its so nice to find a nice british fic, with nice british things like AS levels, and blind date, and the cilit bang remix :)

Writers from the UK on here seem to be few and far between...

I've only read the prologue and 1st chapter so far, but I can basically give you a huge thumbs up; this is really great writing.

I can really relate to the characters; Rosie reminds me quite a lot of myself, and I'm sure I know a Tom or too. The lyrics were a nice touch too.

The prologue was excellent, really drew me in - nice and mysterious. :)

I'm looking forward to reading the rest of this now

Nice One!

inkling chapter 22 . 9/3/2007
tu es awesome. this story is the one of the most original and uncliched stories i've ever found here. it would be so cool if the songs were actually performed by a band. i love them. :)
Alteng chapter 22 . 8/21/2007
I would say that Rosie would look the part of a suicidal piece, since she is such an emotional wreck. Somehow I can't see the hospital allowing her to walk about freely. I would think she would be closely watched to make sure she doesn't try to harm herself again.

I do like how you write Jack in this. He is rather brusque to say the least. I'm surprise that Rosie wasn;t shocked out of her skull with his forwardness. She just doesn't strike me as that type of girl.

And Tillie will be Tillie. I like her. She is so . . . nuts. She must be one of those characters that you sit in a corner and think hard on why she will say or do. I can see her skipping through a funeral home singing "Over the Rainbow" or something just as far out.
concerto49 chapter 1 . 8/14/2007
Heya. Concerto. Sorry, FP didn't work for half a day yesterday, and the day before I was writing Z Illusions, but if I said I will do things I'll do them.

I've rarely seen a name given to a prologue. Hm. Usually they just go prologue. Ha, just wondering.

"change it. .I don’t" - double dot

I noticed you started too many sentences and often right next to each other with 'I's and more generally nouns. I was told this myself and starting realizing it - so I've been changing, like at least when I write my stories. Guess it's a variety thing, and that some people are picky, but I've decided to tell you then.

Yeah actually, the over-use of I's started to get me a little - try perhaps restructuring or just rephrasing some of it. It felt a touch loose and disconnected - make it mesh together more. It could be the sentences - too many conjunctions e.g. 'and' 'but' and trying to fit things together. Vary the sentence structures and all. It lacked adjectives and all of those (there were some).

Overall I felt it lacked a bit of depth. It sort of glossed over quite a few issues and all, but never really to the point as much. It could have been more emotional - maybe it's the choice of words and the way it was expressed (just a bit from it). Perhaps you could do with some imagery to the setting/characters and all instead of purely stating what's around. It's sort of a slow start, and not as catchy - there's nothing that really stuns me as much. It's flowing and alright, just thought that might be a touch to it. The way some things went, it could have been more intense - like fire it up, make it burn.

Anyhow. Cheers. Concerto.
The Breakdancing Ninja chapter 1 . 8/13/2007
Okay, this is driving me nuts. I've seen this story all over the place and it's about time I read it.

I like the fact that Rosie's harboring her love for Jack. It tells me something about her personality. I mean, the obvious things first: she feels she's a statistic (that her feelings are being trivialized), she's in an insane asylum I think (a person locked up with his thoughts is potentially dangerous and entertaining to any narrative rofl), she doesn't like to talk (has a vendetta against fakeness, which is a really good sign for the narrative), still cares about her ma (you'd be surprised how many FP main characters don't care about their moms; in literature, to have a concern for the mom is to have a healthy concern for the self, the active question is: am i being nourished enough?), and she is in extreme pain because of her love.

The combination of all these traits satisfy a lot of doubt that I had in my mind before I kind of stepped into this story, because without the necessary emotional/personality components to satisfy my composite of a main character, I get pretty irritated and impatient.

But I think I'll like this story. I'm just slowly going through review burn-out, so my pace will be crippled. But I want to keep checking in on this. I give fair feedback and reciprocate reviews pretty well. I'll probably stop in for at least one more chapter no matter what.
Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 22 . 8/12/2007
Heya there! It's me again lol! XD Anyway, glad to see this updated again... anyway, glad to see that Jack is alive. The whole personality change is rather freaky though. Don't know if that's possible from real life medical logic... and yeah, wonder what will happen next. Sorry if this review is short. I'm a bit brain dead here now... x_x
Unknowning chapter 22 . 8/11/2007
Wow, I didn't realize that I have been reading this story for two years until you pointed it out! God, I think I started reading this when you first posted it, like eleven reviews or something. When you're done, you deserve a pat on the back or cookies, haha. It's odd that it's almost done. I loved this chapter. The way Jack acted was so realistic, and Rosie was still Rosie but like she said, she sounds like she's "free" after kissing Jack. And I think the reason that Rosie is one of my favorite characters is because she has a good heart. I mean, who would do that for their sister? A sister that STABBED her with a kitchen knife? Rosie would, that's who. Haha. I like Tom. He's a jack ass, but I still like him and I think that Rosie should go for him. After reading the part about the "new Jack" I thought that I would be disappointed. I half expected a romance novel type ending or chapter before ending where he wakes up and realizes that Rosie is the girl of his dreams, the girl who had been infatuated with him before even knowing him. But you managed to pull it off. It was kind of bittersweet, realizing that they most likely won't end up together. I really liked it. I can't wait until the ending, is it the next chapter? :]
atreyu love chapter 1 . 8/10/2007
interesting :D
ItMustBeLove chapter 1 . 7/30/2007
Wow, I have to say, this is definitely one of the most interesting stories I've read yet on FP. The characters are great, the story is great, it's written fantastically. I'm just blown away. I think I've read all of it in the span of three days (when I've been on the computer). Usually when people (unless that person is Tarantino) start the beginning with the end, it doesn't work out so well, or it just feels kind of weak and poorly done, but that's not the case with you're story at all. I really at reviews, but please update soon! This is is very great :D *adds to favs*

Btw, did you write all the Egburt 2 lyrics yourself? They're (almost insanely) good!
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