Reviews for Dance Upon The Sand
xoxoMizzatxoxo chapter 1 . 9/9/2005
Great poem! I write alot too when I am crying. Please read and review!
laughter at the funeral chapter 1 . 9/9/2005
this is really good...the rhyming are well done...although...there are some lines that are quite irrelevant and were obviously included for the sake of the rhyming..."just like the lines while your father doesn't know" and "someday we'll go to rome"...still, you did a good job...oh and pls, if you have the time, pls do review some of my poems...

truly yours...
tranCendenZ chapter 1 . 9/9/2005
I really liked this one. I could stand to see a little more imagery, but trying to work that rhyme pattern overshadowed that. Good job all around!
Martin Peterson chapter 1 . 9/9/2005
I like this very much. It creates a wonderfully vivid picture and represents what love can be like.

The one criticism I have is the line "Someday we'll go to Rome". It ranks of nothing more than an attempt to find a rhyme that works and it really brings done the tone of the whole poem. It's just one weak line, but it really spoils what is otherwise a wonderful piece. In a poem of this nature words and lines should be selected according to what you feel, not according to whether or not it rhymes with what came above.

Matt