Reviews for Second Chances |
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![]() ![]() ![]() *tackleglomps you from behind* Ego SUM sapientior quam vacca! Evyn got hit by my particle of inspiration! *falls off stool laughing* I love your humorous analogies. It makes the entire story both ha-ha funny and i-have-the-insane-asylum-on-speed-dial funny. Keep it up, y'all! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Well'a'now. I shall have to read this in depth later, but it looks most intriguing. I know who you are because I'm officialrambler's weird friend Sarah - recall me? |
![]() ![]() ![]() Harr. Archdemon Lord Duffikus: *folds claws* Well, well well...Seems like you've gone and done a little explanatory chapter...very good for readers now and then to explain what's going on, and to take a breather from advancing the plot... Destroying countless worlds? Hm? It seems that your perception of time differs from mine...but that's all cool. Mood-swinging characters have the potential to add dama, but don't overdo it. In my demonic opinion, you went too close to the line in the last bit for comfort. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Most interestink. Are you Kim who moved to Canada? |
![]() ![]() ![]() nb: Ish too short. We want more! But, yeah. Good, but don't get so caught up in the evil cliffhangers spread and keep us in the dark too long. Hakkun has long struggled with this very same evil... so I hope we get a bit of exposition next chapter! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Harr: Lord Duffikus: A tad of a problem with the first paragraph-ALL of the sentences start with "The". Creates a monotonous effect, if you get my drift...if you don't, just say so, and I'll explain further. Now let's see. Plot, nothing to complain about there, unique and fairly refreshing. So far. Karus seems like an interesting character. Hrrm. Well...not much else to say for now, unless you want me to nitpick, and nitpicking's not somthing I like to do often as a demon. Perhaps next time round. :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Harr. Lord Duffikus the Devourer: Hrm. Quite a bit of action for an opening chapter in my demonic opinion, but that's okay if you'd like it that way. Nothing much else to say, although you could use a bit less dialogue. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oohh a cliffhanger. I'm interested to see what happens next in this story. Keep it up! ) I only have one thing to say though. There were some parts in the story that lacked in description and vividness that I just didn't feel the scene. But aside from that and some grammatical errors, everything's done wonderfully. _ ps: Would you mind reviewing my story "Lunar Chaos"? Any form of reviews are greatly appreciated, since I would like to improve my writing (praise is good, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated, and flames are accepted, as long as they have a good reason). But please don't feel forced to. _ ~Eyes of Amethyst |
![]() ![]() ![]() Squee! Hmm, very intriguing. What has Bener seen, I wonder? Dear me, this promises to be good. Write more, please! |