Reviews for Neon Eyes
FlamingDuo chapter 1 . 8/6/2006
We'll start with your description: "i don't what made me want to write this." Maybe it was that bad writing demon inside you that makes you write the rest of your "works." Please, kill it off and stop posting things to this site, you're wasting internet. Now, onto the subject. You said it was a horror/mystery. It's not a mystery, we knew this was going to suck. It's not a horror because in order for it to be a horror, one must be scared. We weren't scared, except by the fact you call yourself a writer. That fact is intense. We will give you credit for your first sentence "Everyday we feel them." we were interested enough to keep reading untill sentence two and three: "To some people, they are disguised as nooses, chains, an abyss, and other things. Their hands grip our souls whenever they can, wanting us to do their bidding, to feed their hunger..." what the crap, man? Does this mean that everday our souls grip people in nooses and chainsaws? We know that doesn't happen with us. Two words man: Anger Management. Now to the next section: "One of modern-day humanity’s greatest achievements, if not the sole greatest achievement, is that a majority of us have learned to trap those demons and keep them locked-up inside of us. For if we ever release them, then hell-on-earth would no longer be fictitious" What about pre-modern man? didn't they achieve this also? Or did they bring hell to earth and we just got rid of it at some point? Seriously, revise your "work" before you post it, even if you have no idea what made you write this. (By the way, NOBODY cares why you write anything-not even their demons) "The feeling of looking up at a dark, neon-colored sky after dusk enacts one of the darkest and passionate yearnings" Firstly, the sky is either neon-colored or dark. if it's dark, you cannot see the neon, dummy. And the sky is only neon when it IS dusk, not after, stupid. Next, passionate yearnings? i thought our demons were violent, not passionate. Again, review your "work" for once in your demon-infested life. "The light of the oven’s clock barely shines on your face, as you stand in your kitchen, feeling as though all the things in the room have eyes and are staring at you." Is this your nightly routine after dusk? play hide and seek with the demons?"All I can tell you is that you are never alone with them." what happened to the kitchen scene? did you forget that already? after al, it was two paragaphs ago. No wonder why you can't write well. Said the Other Duo: "There are moments in life when one just wants to kill someone, where the image of blood spills into our thoughts, and the body’s muscles tighten, and adrenaline flows, filling the mind with a terrible resolve and heating the nervous system so that it lights our soul’s inner blaze." that's how reading this makes me feelOnce again R, get a better memory, learn to write well, in the mean time, stop posting these 'works' cuz you SUCK
Leyman chapter 1 . 9/20/2005
May I ask if you've ever seen Abel Ferrara's Driller Killer? There is this aritst who has periods of "intense flashes" which show him showering in red, its in slow motion like swaying into the demons. The eerie thing about this is that the flashes were actually a prediction of what was to take place when he finally lashed out.
Chris Redfield chapter 1 . 9/18/2005
Interesting, captivating and insightful

nice work
Formerly chapter 1 . 9/18/2005
Congratulations, dude, you've written something vaguely worth reading.
mothling chapter 1 . 9/17/2005
Very...true.