Reviews for Idle Doll
Ian chapter 2 . 9/27/2006
The doll sounds like Yoda... O.o
Justin Carlton chapter 8 . 3/29/2006
Done, it is, and well done indeed! I humbly stand and applaud you, my friend. A good ending - shocking, disturbing, and wide open. Whom will the doll get next? At first, I was like, "that was all he had to do? Stab the frigging thing with a knife?" But it's not that easy to kill the Idle Doll... Heh heh heh.

Yes I read your final comments. Keep writing, my friend.
Justin Carlton chapter 7 . 2/22/2006
This, my friend, was the most gripping chapter yet. The story is reaching a very powerful climax, and a well-deserved one at that. The action is very good, the dialogue realistic, the descriptions given at just the right time.

I do have a few things to point out. One is spelling errors: while I still was able to read the chapter and enjoy it, the spelling sometimes interrupted the flow of the story as I was trying to figure out what word you meant to have there.

The other thing is that you have a tendency to repeat yourself, perhaps by accident or purposefully.

Either way, this is a great story, and I'm looking forward to the conclusion. Keep it coming!
Justin Carlton chapter 6 . 1/16/2006
Creepy. I liked the visual descriptions that actually helped me see Curt attacking Annie at the end. One question: wouldn't the neighbors begin to smell Don's rotting body?

Good. Coming close to the end, you are. Write all you can!

Heh heh heh.

Keep writing, my friend!
fantomoftheopera chapter 5 . 1/14/2006
wow...i don't normally have the patience to read stories online, but this one was really good, and scary too
Kristina Suko chapter 5 . 1/13/2006
Wow, it's really creepy, and very riveting! There are just a few typos, but not many. In the very last line, you put "He saw himself dyeing with the doll at his side." uh, dyeing should be dying, no "e". otherwise (smile) it would be he's gonna dye something, so anyhoo, good job!
Anthem Aeneid chapter 5 . 12/17/2005
No change. Still beautiful.
Anthem Aeneid chapter 4 . 12/17/2005
Great chapter. The story is teetering on the edge of going too far into the world of macabre writing. That is a great thing. It hightens the reader's senses.
Justin Carlton chapter 5 . 12/12/2005
Have you ever read Stephen King? He has an amazing short story called 'The Monkey' in his book, 'Skeleton Crew'. 'Idle Doll' reminds me forcefully of that, although with different twists. I'm sorry we didn't get to see Don eat his own words and repent, but finally he's out of the way, right? Heh, heh, heh...
Anthem Aeneid chapter 3 . 12/10/2005
Macabre. I like it! Most tense problems just vanished. Nice story you're workin with here. The writing has improved dramatically in two chapters!
Anthem Aeneid chapter 2 . 12/10/2005
Two problems: 1. Tense issue. 2. The second chapter felt very the other hand, your writing is very well done and your imagination and imagery create beautiful scenes in the mind. I'll keep reading. By the way, this is definetly on my Favourite Stories List!
Anthem Aeneid chapter 1 . 12/10/2005
Great start! Just need to work out some shifts in tenses. I'll keep reading.
Justin Carlton chapter 4 . 11/21/2005
Dang, you take so long to update! This is reeally good and it just keeps getting better. Why do I get the feeling that there won't be a happy ending to this? Heh, heh, heh...
Anarchist101 chapter 3 . 11/3/2005
Oh, God, wow. This seems pretty good. When will u be updating?
semiautomatic chapter 1 . 11/2/2005
It was pretty good, but I have a few things:

1. I thought that part where the girl went to her mom to tell her about the ghost, her mom would have handled it much more seriously in fear that her child needed mental help.2. You used a few words incorrectly (ex dye, die).3. You sentence structure was... well... annoying. I noticed you switched you sentences around, like instead of "you will come to me" you changed it to "come to me, you will". I understand you might have used repetition to gain a somewhat eerier effect, but it was just kind of annoying.4. Please be more descriptive. I like gore, and this story has potential.
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