Reviews for The Crown
Joelle Duran chapter 1 . 1/4/2006
Wow, that is so incredibly sad. What a tragedy. Not only is she trapped in a web, but he was too-become the very thing he once loathed, perhaps even now he loathes his actions. Just tragic all around-love it!Beautiful description again, especially with her clothing and ornamentation and how her perception of it has changed.
Eyetk chapter 1 . 10/10/2005
Oh...depressing...

But very much a 'thinker' pieces. I could expound upon a whole bunch off stuff here, but I'm lazy and as you're the author I'm quite sure you know all the hidden meanings behind this far better than I do after one reading, so...I won't.

Er...on the CC side, I've got two comments. One, minor, is a typo-at the beginning of the fifth paragraph, you refer to her as 'Theclas' instead of 'Thecla'.

The other is that I noticed a lot of nouns used as sentence openers. Try rewriting for more variety? I dunno.

Nice job!

- Eyetk
rrmehta364 chapter 1 . 9/30/2005
mad wierd, we reviewed each other simultaneously. freaky coincidene. i have to go so im not really going to read this.
Triden chapter 1 . 9/28/2005
Interesting short story! Poor Thecla... Power can change even the best people, sadly. Like job!
Alzemu chapter 1 . 9/27/2005
*hugs*i just simply love the way you wright! loved this short story!_
Count of Casualty chapter 1 . 9/24/2005
*once again goggle eyed*My brother and I used to be close like that, but then he hit puberty. What an awful thing to lose your best friend and confide...Very nice job on this story! *two thumbs up*
Eyes of Amethyst chapter 1 . 9/23/2005
Short, yet the story speaks volumes. I've always been fond of this idea, and I've been planning on using this concept for my story "Lunar Chaos." Of course, it was because of you that I remembered this. Thanks! _

Ok, the story flow was nicely done, with such vividness that I couldn't help but smile when I read them. A few grammatical errors here and there, but that could be polished. But aside from that, a wonderful piece. Keep writing! _

ps: Would you mind reviewing my story "Lunar Chaos"? Any form of reviews are greatly appreciated, since I would like to improve my writing (praise is good, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated, and flames are accepted, as long as they have a good reason). But please don't feel forced to. _

Eyes of Amethyst