|Reviews for wild hearted girl|
| Jezsh chapter 1 . 12/24/2005
interesting...I like that it is full of feeling but not too exaggerated. Some very beautiful images - seems like the beginning sums everything up very nicely. Good work.
| Gilee7 chapter 1 . 10/30/2005
-saint sebstian climbed up her walls of ivy on a hazy-dark-summer night- Should be "sebastian", right? You're missing the 'a' after the 'b'.
I love longer poems like this, especially when they tell a story, as this one did. This story has a very mesmerizing/dizzying quality to it that I really liked. I felt as if I was falling down as I was reading it. You also seem to have a very unique style in your writing, which sometimes adds a nice little flavor, and sometimes it rather distracting.
This was rather impressive.
| Faith chapter 1 . 10/17/2005
this is so beautiful,gritty and amazing,I don't see how anyone couldn't call it 's just so...original.I want to be inside your mind! I wanna know what it all means! It is quite raw in places,and the format makes it all the more first and last stanzas are my faves,and the diction is totally to my you soon Elizabeth.(btw inset day friday).
| Ang-Dev chapter 1 . 10/17/2005
interesting poem. the descriptions and emotions r really well portrayed tho i still dont think this is one of ur best poems (no offence btw). its a pretty sad poem about love and stuff and i like the ending bit 'the lack of it'. well written, keep writing:-)
| Dark Yoshi of the Storms chapter 1 . 10/6/2005
The formatting of this piece was amazing.
I can't comprehend just exactly how close of an attention you paid to the formatting- where the bolds are, when the lines are smashed together in a train wreck, when words are capitalized or in quotations or italicized, the line breaks.. it's amazing- as well as the mood and feel of the poem, the word choice, everything.
My only question is about the ambersands in place of the "and". Why was that so?
"hot, eager, curious" those words go together like clockwork and -feel- like a hot summer night.
"just so he could boast about it too/ (anyone who would) just listen/to him" I'm reading these lines as, "Just so he could boast about it to anyone who was willing to listen to him." And, if I were to translate it into the words you used, I would correct the "too" to *to, and I would omit the "just".
"& she was doomed from the moment/ that he came inside/ her skin." That's gritty, it's powerful. I love it.
One of my favorite stanzas is the "CHURCH" stanza. It's stark, and I know a lot of friends who have that guilty sort of devotion to God. It's really a haunting thing to think that these words we say don't mean a thing until the guilt or any other after-feeling sets in. This stanza really exhibits some of the best formatting, and shows almost every type of formatting the rest of this poem has to offer in clips, except for italicization. But I'm glad none of the words are italicized, then the stanza itself wouldn't be as powerful. "it didn't matter because they were just words" The formatting on that was prime, but it was really the actual line itself that spoke volumes. Amazing.
"why shouldn't someone else go through what you have lost/ and so she passed on the words (and actions) that her heart was/ killed with." Crisp, insightful, grainy and darkly perceptive writing. It's delicious, Elizabeth.
(It has just ocurred to me right now. Formatting this poem and uploading it must have been hell- what really sucks is that you can't export this piece or all the formatting might get screwed up. If you wanted to make any edis, you would have to do it to the master copy and upload it to the documents all over again.)
"many young men sigh&burn for her/ B U R N/ just as he does"
| An Inside Joke chapter 1 . 10/2/2005
I like how you avoided cliches by putting a somewhat negative light on sex and love.
| mizu no kokoro chapter 1 . 10/2/2005
Wah... the story/poem is so tragic lovely job!
| Elizabeth Bilberry chapter 1 . 10/2/2005
oh the irony; 'the lack of it...'
| smile persephone chapter 1 . 10/1/2005
Lovelovelove it. Everything (about this) is .beautiful. I adore the 1st stanza so-very-much. You're amazing.
| evm chapter 1 . 9/28/2005
I adore how this reads as with an epic or a ballad. Much love especially for "perfect-and-pale-but-with-a-sheen-to-it skin" because it is perfectly goregeous to read aloud.
| Kate chapter 1 . 9/28/2005
This was the best poem I have ever read and I sincerely mean it.
| White Tea and Ginger chapter 1 . 9/25/2005
Wow. I have nothing more to say.
| poetic abortion chapter 1 . 9/25/2005
I. love. the. style.
I just love everything about this.
| CarpeDiem28 chapter 1 . 9/25/2005
Excellent poem. It was beautiful. Wow. I love the ending. keep up the work!
| in theory chapter 1 . 9/25/2005
I love how you defy the rules of formatting and create your own masterpiece with your own rules. Gorgeous language too. I adored this.