|Reviews for a lightning bolt was the catalyst|
| tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 7/11/2009
I like the chemistry references throughout this piece, it really adds a lot. My favorite was the first stanza, it was so beautifully written.
Actually this whole thing was just beautifully written.
I love your writing style.
| citrus scented chapter 1 . 10/9/2005
i like it...making science romantic, intresting. its really passionate, it works well like the love is in everything.i love: "We only exist becausewe tend to." so thoughtprovoking. thanks for all your reviews, your work is wicked too.
| Protege chapter 1 . 10/6/2005
This is an odd one. Don't get me wrong - I LIKE it! It invokes a very strange comparison - love, and science. Actually, that's quite cool. You've done something original here - congratulations!
Lots of neat lines in this - "you laugh science at me" stands out in particular. Likewise on "you're melted honey - we stir clockwise, stir crazy"... Once again, that comparison to sciences really carries it off wonderfully. You hear love compared to chemistry, but phsysics? Wonderful touch. I love the idea of a lightning bolt sparking some spontaneous form of life (or a kiss in this case.)
Still, there are some lines that need work. "I'm pale brilliance" is a week image in an otherwise beautiful metaphor, for example. As well, the flow of this - and it has wonderful flow, for the most part - is broken up by lines that break out of style - "stir knees twitch arching backs" then "Choking gasps", while nice on their own, are stacatto beats in a very smooth poem, and could use to be elaborated.
That being said, I love the idea and how you carried it off - word choices, line breaks, punctuation and all. You have a definite talent, and this being my first review (thank you very kindly for yours), I look forward to reading more.
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 10/2/2005
While I can't say that I know a lot about science, I really like this. The first thing I thought when I read the title and then the first line was Emily Dickinson, b/c she always did that, but hey, this is quite different than Emily Dickinson. Wow, this is really good, though. I enjoyed it.
| Maxwell Brine chapter 1 . 9/30/2005
Very nice poem.
I admire people who write good love poetry because I feel that love poetry is the hardest to write.
| Lines To Time chapter 1 . 9/26/2005
And you are amazing, and I am in awe. Enter this in a contest, please, or I will eat you. Your talent is astounding.
| Anikki chapter 1 . 9/25/2005
Wow. Great job. I really dig the imagery. The opening line was great- really caught my attention. Being a science nerd and all, I love the language, the metaphors and such. You deserve a giant cheesecake.
| Caged Ailuron chapter 1 . 9/25/2005
I love the way you make refrences to science without breking form or theme. Very nice.
| aomori chapter 1 . 9/25/2005
good job. i loved the first two lines, that really caught my attention. i'll be looking for more from you.
| classic violet chapter 1 . 9/25/2005
"your eyes were midnight and my lips were dawn"
Pure poetry. I simply love all of up the amazing work.
| Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 9/25/2005
your eyes were midnight and my lips were dawn.-I love the imagry in your poetry, its so seductive and styalish (your like the Vogue of this site.) This was a truly beautiful piece. Keep up the good work.
| miss understanding chapter 1 . 9/25/2005
So science-y. It really works though; comparing science to love. You do it really well and it's enjoyable to read. I think my favorite line is "You whisper that we're atoms/we only exist because we tend to" Great poem! Toodles! ~Choco