|Reviews for Good Morning|
| SpawnMeister666 chapter 1 . 10/21/2005
This is a nice piece. However, I have a slight problem with the whole inspiration behind it.
Being a night person, in my opinion mornings serve no useful purpose whatsover and should be abolished!
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 10/3/2005
| classic violet chapter 1 . 9/27/2005
"speckled with crystalline jewels"
One word describes this poem: AMAZING.I loved it.
| suckerplucker chapter 1 . 9/27/2005
I can see that you're trying very hard for vibrant imagery here and you're almost there- you problem now is vocabulary. You use some great words and active verbs here, but alot of them are missing their helping words and it renders the entire piece somewhat nonsensical. For instance:
How can stillness creep? it is has a connotation of deception, trickery. I don't think that's what you mean what? To nuzzle is to snuggle against something else, there is no object of the verb.
Also, you use dashes (-) rather haphazardly and incorrectly, you may want to look up/research their usage.
random other questions/comments:why is the night's beauty unknown? How is it both beautiful and bitter?Why is the earth desolate?I think that you need to decide whether or not to personify earth and night, you're kind of in the middle of both right , you have some great vocab but also some that could be improved: hundreds of thousands, crystalline (all jewels are already crystalline, it's redundant) etc.
you have a great start here