Reviews for The Reliquary |
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![]() ![]() I like it! Especially Salem...he's wonderfully insane. |
![]() ![]() ![]() This intrigues me. I read it before I became a member here and had to come back and tell you how much I enjoyed this, the first story I read here that actually had thought behind it and wasn't really stereotypical. Kate is a wonderfully well-developed character, with flaws as well as virtues, all of which make her loveable. Something tells me that Emiko is not telling Kate something. My, she's only thirteen? Very mature for thirteen, wow! And did she *really* grow up in China? Somehow I doubt it. I must confess Salem gives me the chills at times, but I pity him and hope very much that he regains his sanity, or at least part of it. I like Alan very much! :) A very patient and kind-hearted man. Please update again soon! God bless, Galadriel |
![]() ![]() ![]() This story scares me. I don't think I'll read any more. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I like the ominous tone of the whole chapter and the details that make it seem real. I liked your choice of Abigayle's point of view, because it seems to give us just the right amount of information and it puts focus on a character that might not have seemed as important if you'd chosen a different POV. When the girl comes to the doorstep, Abigayle thinks she is from "somewhere in the exotic Oriental East." The word "Oriental" means "Eastern," so you're redundant there, basically saying "the exotic Eastern East." If you're trying to get across that this is how Abigayle would talk, then using these types of phrases a few other times in the chapter would make it look more like you did it on purpose. In the third to last paragraph, the first sentence reads "Salem shrieked, suddenly almost deranged, banging on the keys and making several members of the audience standing up and murmurs of concern." Your verb tenses here don't match, and your use of "murmurs" as a noun doesn't fit. It sounds like you mean something along the lines of "Salem shrieked, suddenly almost deranged, banging on the keys and making several members of the audience stand up and murmur with concern." I'm really looking forward to reading the rest! |
![]() ![]() WHERE THE HELL AM AH? On second thought, glad to see you're alive and well, Salem-chan. Jeez, the house is going to be an orgy, isn't it? Ohgod...now I have a really weird SalemxAnna-MariexAlanxEmiko image in mah head. Sweet lord. Update soon. Preferably within the next year or two. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Okay, so I originally wasn't going to review this chapter. Then I read the author's note at the bottom and I decided to. Life is funny, eh? I still love Salem's character entirely. Somehow, I'm not surprised by the kiss. It just blends in more with Salem's character than it would with a "normal" character. Because Salem tends to see things a bit different than the Average Joe is used to, and therefore he reacts differently to the littlest action. Or I'm just overanalyzing things and Salem's completely nuts. Oh well. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Meh, who cares about how short they are as long as they stay this good . Lol, mischivious little Salem 3 Later,~Ffuffy~ |
![]() ![]() ![]() Finally it's out! Whoo-hoo! I like how you portray Alan. But, I think that his accent was a bit more defined in the previous chapter, ne? Now hurry up with the next chapter! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Woot!Ok, I'm hooked. At first this whole this was quite creepy...but *giggle* I love it to pieces, keep writing. Great job so far. Later,~Ffuffy~ PS, sorry for the lack of reveiws, I've been...busy. |
![]() ![]() So Mister Alan (hehe) has come in, sexeh as ever...but where on earth is Miss Anna-Marie? |
![]() ![]() ![]() I like Alan. Who is he and why is he suddenly involved in the story? Though I'm sure you'll tell us eventually... I only saw one tiny mistake: "Alan nodded, but wasn’t sure how to respond. Apparently, neither did Abigayle, and the silence fell once more. " I believe the "did" should be "was" or the "wasn't" should be "didn't." What is it that's wrong with Salem? He seems fine, for a nut, then he suddenly turns violent? Why? Good chapter, I look forward to more. Happy Writing! - WM |
![]() ![]() ![]() Maybe it's the fact that I noticed it just in this chapter (it may be in previous ones, I'd have to go back and check on it though), but you don't seem to tell the story from Abigayle's or Salem's POV in this chapter. Take it as a compliment; Not many authors have enough creative energy in them to expand on "minor" characters (I'm going to put that in quotes because I haven't read the whole thing yet), yet you're using them as the reader's portal to Canterbury. And Salem's still awesome, as always, even though he did seem a bit scripted in this chapter. Looking at his character design, however, one could see where that could happen, because his character design is SO complex. More complex than probably anything I would attempt to come up with. Wow, I really DO ramble a lot, don't I? |
![]() ![]() ![]() I was hooked from the beginning - I'll admit it, although the typical stormy-night atmospher almost made me reconsider. Salem's madness is realistic and frightening, but as much as I can't stand it, almost, I can't tear my eyes away. Abigayle seems like a very down-to-earth, selfless character - I'm touched by her love for her brother. Also the way you phrase things is lovely... "bittersweet Earl Grey", "three-story Victorian glory"... even the line about the letter slot. I love it. Definitely looking forward to reading more! |
![]() ![]() ![]() "Alan turned his head straight, vaguely looking down towards the violin in his lap, trying his best to keep his integrity and not listen in. It was harder than virtue made it sound." XD awsome. One little thing. when Alan looks over at Abigayle, you type "he" instead of "she". |
![]() ![]() ![]() Salem is mine! *elopes* yay, this provided me much entertainment after the history sol, minus when our conversation started up...heh...heh...*nudges Kadaj-shaped body bag to the side* anyway, WRITE MORE DARN U! much love, Arisu |