Reviews for Concussion
Fabian Cortez chapter 1 . 10/14/2005
A jumble of thoughts put together in a poem, yet my sense of this is that it somehow works perfectly. The mood is one of serenity, even in talking of death and drowning, that step back is given.

i:e "Once in a movie", seems the way this is being portrayed. As an observer, yet without judgement, just watching and making analogies.

I really like this; it's original clever and just taps into my way of thinking. _

KEEP WRITING!

F.C
green.taffeta chapter 1 . 10/5/2005
i relly like the first allusion, though the sky seems strange in green. maybe blue, or a different word for blue. i'm not sure i like how the rest of the poem flows, it's just...jerky, and the metaphors are a bit farfetched. each stanza stands alone wonderfully, but put together, it's a little tough to take in. but that's just me, i've got the attention span of a gnat.