|Reviews for A Grave Without Flowers|
| bustedbyherparents chapter 1 . 11/2/2010
This was a little cliche, but otherwise it was pretty good. Also, some of the language seemed repetitive. Don't worry, it is a problem I have in my own writing. Thanks for sharing!
| Quaviver chapter 1 . 3/20/2006
Hi Minami! Here is Quavi, finally reviewing. Hurrah!
*shakes head* I must have read this-what?-three times, so I'm afraid I can't give you my raw first impression of it anymore. What I can remember of my first reaction was that AGWF was tender, fairytale-ish, something you could tell children before they went to sleep. I /loved/ the way you didn't overdo the explanation bit (like telling me why Sundays in particular were haunted by spirits, why the parents left, etc.), because the mystery further intensified the whimsical mood. And of course, to explain such things is to detract from the main point of the story.
I found a beautiful feeling here, something like finding a piece of childhood. The innocence of it borders on the sorrowful, but of course there is a certain kind of happiness as well. It gave me an image of fresh roses whose petals were wet with rain, and that's such a lovely thing. If you seriously want to add to this, very subtly put in smells. _ The essence is there, just a word or two would complete it.
Speaking of editing though. Don't. Edit. So. Much! For the G of H&H's sake, Minami. Have some faith in yourself! There's a very wise quote I've read once, and it said: "Never lose your respect for your first draft." And that's possibly the number one rule in my book. The first draft is where the ideas came at their quickest, where the words flowed at their most natural pace. Don't get me wrong, I like some of the changes you've made in this recent draft (like Linove's wistful repetition of the word "Lonely") but I think the one you have up in DeviantArt has a lighter, more free-spirited air. And I'm voting you keep the original beginning. "Once, there was a young girl..."
All in all, you have a beautiful writing style, and you shouldn't change too much of it. Be true to yourself. (Gee, I sound like a snorking inspirational writer. Sorry 'bout that.)
| Queen of the Insects chapter 1 . 3/17/2006
Omigoodness! I haven't reviewed this here!
You know I love this! It's sounds like a fairytale, and it's such a sweet story. _
| Napkins W chapter 1 . 2/23/2006
Wow, I like this. _ Good job! It's... like, I can see how you wrote this on a rainy day.
Haha, and btw... chp. 14 was the end... to the first book. Book 2 will be coming soon - as soon as I get done with the prologue... and chp. 1. lol. Chp. 2 is already written.
; - MoI
| teoh chapter 1 . 12/3/2005
This is a beautiful, sweetly unearthly story. I enjoyed reading , I felt that the ending seemed too abrupt, and broke the sweet feeling of the quiet graveyard and the girl's quaint speech about kindness and unbounded as a suggestion that I personally feel would improve this story, consider removing the last expletive, “What on earth-“ to preserve the sense of wonder. Other than that slight criticism, I do like your story a lot, and I'd also add that the fairy-tale-esque style of your story works very well.
| RoseofFlame chapter 1 . 10/14/2005
I like this one 3 it's awesome, I hope you keep updating it.
| Davvn chapter 1 . 10/10/2005
Wow. Beautiful. It was sad, when the little girl died, but I feel happy for her older sister. Very very nice. :)
~Warmest wishes, Sapphire Unicorn~
| attaasa chapter 1 . 10/9/2005
Wow... That is such a beautiful story :)Kinda sad, but very beautiful.I'm glad that you uploaded this, I really enjoyed reading it. I take it that the young man is the wizard? And the red roses... Just, wow!