You don't have to be religious to like this poem. Your insight flows naturally and leading the reader from angst to understanding, if not hope.

beautiful language, absolutely wonderful rhyme as well. Sorry about the obscurity of 'Flutist', I was feeling mystical at the time. The reason is that the temple has become modern enough that they would rather pay cheaply for worse music than honor the greater good the outdated flutist is willing to give them. the player has no need for money, as they (I wasn't gender-specific, and prefer to think of the character as possessing feminine and masculine characteristics) are devoted to the higher beings, and they would rather play out of joy than out of want. Basically, I was just trying to show that even music cannot always be heard in the ear of an unappreciative person. Hence, the silence references. Sorry for the confusion, and thank you so much for reviewing both 'Oceanic Rivals' (there again I mess with heads; sorry about the changing tenses) and 'The Flutist of Chang'an'. Laters! KD

Wow...this is amazing. Firstly, your rhyme scheme and rhythm are wonderful, I love the beat and sound this poem has.

And your message...wonderful. I loved your repetition of "God rested on the seventh day".

Great job, keep writing!

That was really amazing. I'm not a Christian, so I don't believe in that specifically, but I absolutely love the poem. It was really powerful and the message is absolutely beautiful. Keep it up!

You. Amazing. Mind? Shattered. Ack!

And once again, you have outdone yourself, Hershey. I've never been a big poetry fan, but every time you post a new poem I rush to read it. Rockin'.This poem I really like. It has lots of good theological themes, like the things about free will and how God wants us to choose to love Him. Awesome stuff. Keep it up._Ahrar

oh, wow! I love it the song brings out the true Lord God (at least I think it does!) I do sorta have a suggestion to make. umm, when it comes to the chorus you should write (Chorus) over the top of it. it would make it easier. but other than that perfect!

This is so beautiful! I love it. It's an awesome message. God didn't "finish" us because He wanted to give us free will. He wants us to choose to love Him. He knew we would mess up, but those "mess-ups" would be a chance for Him to show His love for us. Great point - and I love the way you described it. Awesome use of language! God bless -