Reviews for The First Time |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Hmm. Interesting. Well done, indeed. I'll comment on the sentence openers, though-you could use more of 'em. Mostly, you've got nouns. ...this is better explained at the link below: . ?storyid1942775&chapter3 Hope that helps. Nice job, overall! - Eyetk |
![]() ![]() ![]() I have never read Starrlei before, but I had to know...his first time for *what*? Now I want to read Starrei...good job on this story. I enjoyed it! |