Reviews for The First Time
Eyetk chapter 1 . 10/10/2005
Hmm. Interesting. Well done, indeed.

I'll comment on the sentence openers, though-you could use more of 'em. Mostly, you've got nouns.

...this is better explained at the link below:

. ?storyid1942775&chapter3

Hope that helps. Nice job, overall!

- Eyetk
Ballerina with a Gun chapter 1 . 10/10/2005
I have never read Starrlei before, but I had to know...his first time for *what*?

Now I want to read Starrei...good job on this story. I enjoyed it!