Okay I have just wolfed down three of your stories in the last two days and I enjoyed them immensely, so it's rewiew time.
I like the trip you give us on the life of a teenage star, along with all the pressure and struggle that come with it, while highlighting the fact that they are normal teens with normal teens' issues in the long run.
There are some minor weaknesses in the style and form, but given that this is your first story they matter very little. And the nice romance with interesting characters more than make up for that

Hee hee, much enjoyed. Not as polished as the other story of yours I read, but I believe you mentioned this was your first. I'm a sucker for a good romance, and this one was nicely satisfying : )

Plot:fine
Spelling: okay
Characters:fine
Grammar: are you freakin kidding me? run-on sentences, punctuation missing, blah, blah and all that stuff . PAINFUL

THIS IS SOOOOO AMAZING! Definitely one of my favouritest stories EVERRR! I can't quite put inot words how very very very in awe I am right now. You write so well and I will literally move straight on to reading all your other stories which look supergreat! This one is so so soooooo good! WOW! JUST WOW!

I am actually a bit jealous that you have such good story ideas and can write them so well AND manage to actually finish them! :) Well done indeed! :D

Another great story! I loved it, and KNEW it was gonna be a happy ending :) thanks so much for writing it!

Wow... That was an amazing story!

Overall, this was a very good story. I have some criticism coming, but I only give it to try and help you get better. Please don't take it as a personal insult or anything. The plot was extremely predictable, and the characters were cliched. Nevertheless, you managed to spin a good story out of it.

I have to admit, at the start of the story I was really worried for Jared. I mean, he was obviously getting dangerously close to becoming a sex addict. I don't think the story really went into that enough, though. I mean, the characters just accepted that it was normal to go around having sex with 4 different guys in a few days; not to mention the fact that three of them were brothers. I guess the characters are only young, though, so I guess it's probably a good representation of stereotypical young people. They wouldn't know sex addiction if it hit them in the face.

I'm honestly not trying to be some super-law-follower here, but there's also the fact that the characters just had sex in public places all the time. I mean, don't any of them realise that it's actually a crime? I know that they're young and stupid, but still. I feel like they didn't really learn any lessons. If they'd gotten caught that would have been funny. :)

Having said all that, though, the sex scenes were pretty good.

Another problem I have is that the concept of time wasn't handled very well in the story. It's a common problem across many stories on fictionpress, though, so I'm not really picking on you in particular. In the story it was hard to tell how much time passed and when it passed. I was kind of guessing and estimating sometimes. Maybe just try to include a few mentions to that kind of stuff once in a while.

Overall, the story was very good though, and I did thoroughly enjoy reading it. Off to the sequel now. :)

This story is by no means new or unique, but it was executed rather well and it was a very entertaining read. There was a little too much focus on actions rather than emotions in my taste, I would have loved to get a deeper connection established between the characters, but we all feel differently when it comes to those things. Spelling and grammar was a bit iffy at times, just an FYI, but other than that the writing was good. Thanks for sharing.

hugs

This was such a great story! I really enjoyed it! Great job :D

Considering this was your first story, it is pretty good. The pace was a bit faster than what I would have liked and you could have probably developed the characters more. Nick was such a wonderful character in the beginning but then he slowly disappeared. It would have also been great if we saw more of how Shy and Seb's relationship grew so that the emotions, when they were apart and when Seb found out that Shy was JJ, could be more tangible. The whole scene in the parking lot was great but I think it could have been more with that. I would have probably liked it more if you didn't reunite them without any real struggle. You sort of had a Hollywood ending, which, I guess, could be seen as fitting given the background of the story.

Anyway, even though it may seem like I'm being very picky, I did enjoy reading this one.

Haha I wished there's a real "Jared" out there who pretend to be "Shy" and meet "Seb". If only it could happen in a real world...

*Gone and having a legit fanguys attack*

I thoroughly enjoy all your stories :) however, if pairing change I would like seeing seb with jonathon I don't know why but perhaps Jared and seb were like too lame. I still like the ending

i love this story so far! kudos to your author comment at the top. i totally agree! i really hate people you are prejudice in any way, be it race, sex, religon, or sexual preference. cant wait to read more!

I enjoyed reading this story, it was very entertaining. I do wonder if, when in a situation like this, the person will ever get a chance to tell their loved one the secret without it being revealed.

So this is the second story of yours that I have read and I thought I'd leave a little review. I loved it. You seriously do not disappoint!

While I can tell that your writing has matured by the time you got around to doing "I'm Not Dead," this is still an absolutely spectacular read. It entertained from start to finish and reminded me a bit of Meg Cabot's "Teen Idol."

I loved how you portrayed the relationships between characters and once again, how your characters grew up and changed throughout the course of the story. And of course, setting parts of your story in Hollywood made for some really good story telling :]. Sorry for the immensely crappy review but I just wanted to say how much I loved this!