|Reviews for Puddles|
| a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 3/28/2007
Good use of metaphor, I like it. Keep writing.
| A. J. Weyler chapter 1 . 4/18/2006
Huh. Short. Very thought-provoking. Good job.
| Smoky Bear chapter 1 . 1/25/2006
aw, that's touching.
| Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 12/8/2005
Speaks more than the few words written. The simplicity of this makes the greatest statement of the true magnitude of the words. If this was longer it would not convey as much meaning. Good work.
| Niniel Uskglass chapter 1 . 11/23/2005
I like this. The metaphor of it is constructed very nicely.
| wantedINheaven chapter 1 . 11/13/2005
Yeah, it doesn't just rain. I always let myself go when I walk in the rain. It's almost like the only time I cry is when the rain falls down around me.
This is short and simple, but it works like that. I like it.
| angie3838 chapter 1 . 10/21/2005
This is good. It's short and sweet. My suggestions are to maybe play with punctuation and placement on the page: don't capitalize the beginning of every line, and don't end it with a period. Maybe you could write it in a circle, like an actual puddle; although then you wouldn't be able to upload it here, or else it would be very tricky.
"Misery" has its own impersonation here, and it seems very human to me. Also, perhaps instead of "a little girl" you could be a little more specific? You could try to show us why she's crying so hard by descriptions of her. I pictured her sitting on the curb of a street, all alone, in the rain, with her tears mixing with the gasoline puddles in front of her.
| l337 r0cX3r chapter 1 . 10/20/2005
Hm, don't quite know what to say. I liked it, and I got a good visual, but what i got, probably isn't what you intended on. i just finished writing another script and putting it on here, and a little girl's mom died in it. i just got a visual of my little girl when reading this. Anyhow, very nice.
| les petits bateaux chapter 1 . 10/15/2005
Wow...this is so poignant. Beautifully written.
| Prevaricate chapter 1 . 10/14/2005
Pretty. Not phenomenal as far as originality is concerned, but it's well-written.
| ronshaberry chapter 1 . 10/14/2005
Aw, I like it. Great idea, as always, and you always put in just the right words. Good job! _x
The straw umbrella worked very well, thanks for the suggestion. (Haha.)
| lronMaiden chapter 1 . 10/14/2005
short, but it staid with me, great job.
| simpletonsgrin chapter 1 . 10/13/2005
I wasn't expecting it to be as good as it is- but there you go!
It doesn't scream out at you, but theres this wonderful sense of "this is just how it is."
keep it up.
| Princess-anna57 chapter 1 . 10/13/2005
Short and sad! Aww! Very effective. Well done and write on!