Reviews for pretty little fake gemstone girls
sloppy firsts chapter 1 . 12/19/2005
this is gorgeous. you've captured the vulnerability and the fears so incredibly well. i use to think earrings were so cool but you're right. their really nothing but another fashion accessory. but i'm rambling aren't i? C the ending ties it up very well.

keep writing

chaos
Pheobe Meryll chapter 1 . 11/18/2005
Very interesting format, and I love the story you're telling. The theme is one everyone can relate to - feeling inferior for some reason or another. I really love it. It's so unique. Your technique with the parenthasese was very interesting, and caught my attention, although there were times when you phrases in them that shouldn't have been in them...like (that I never really cared...) towards the end. Still, this might be deliberate. Anyway, I enjoyed this a lot.
dollface and her cancer chapter 1 . 11/3/2005
I don't know about the repetition of the, "I never had my ears pierced", but other than that, I like it. Every excuse is witty; I like that you didn't care if you were 'natural'.
Plinky chapter 1 . 10/30/2005
Nice poem - I completely agree! I don't have my ears pierced, partly cos I'm squeamish, partly cos I have the idea of having holes in my skin.

I like the-

"With no holes shot through me / just as god made me / with no false bits in me"

and the lines after. Nice repetition, and I like the detail about your mind not belonging.

Nice image - "Silver studs, netball posts and waving blonde hair"

Lovely ending, really pretty. Great poem - keep writing!
Gilee7 chapter 1 . 10/30/2005
Nice first stanza. It has the best rhythm of any of the following stanzas, I believe. And great use of the bolds, emphasizing the perfect words.

-Like little fashion accesories- *accessories

The ending of this is just very "aw, how cute". LOL. I really liked this poem. It's very simple, and seemingly just about earrings, but it's more than that, really. Very unique poem, a very real poem, a very good poem. Nice job.
beti213 chapter 1 . 10/28/2005
"I didn't believe in pretty girls" haha if only I didn't believe in them... I see them too much. I don't like them, certainly, but I definitely believe. and yet apparently you do (did?) too. I love the phrase "pretty-little-pink-feltips." so cool... ironic and beautiful and also sad. I like the parentheses as I like most about this piece, though, is the way you use a tiny thing like getting your ears pierced as a symptom of a universal social issue. makes it come off as anything but cliche. great job!
pleasecometrue chapter 1 . 10/25/2005
Wow this is amazing. It's funny, you've put so much thought into an idea that most people have never even give a second thought. Tres original, wish I had thought of it first :p. Great write.
evm chapter 1 . 10/24/2005
Don't let anyone ever tell you ear piercing isn't a hassle or 'it doesn't hurt.' 'Cause it is. And it does. I just got my ears pierced and they keep getting weird infections, and the holes begin to close over and it HURTS. I just think it's worth it 'cause I love metal and I love jewelry, and changing the way I look. - - -Back on topic:

I think it's really awesome that you wrote an experience like this into a poem. I especially liked the line 'I never wore earrings because I didn't believe in pretty girls.' That just rocked my socks.
citrus scented chapter 1 . 10/22/2005
oh this is so relatable. i felt ex-actly the same way until i saw one pair of earings and fell in love, and so went home and pierced mine just so i could have them! hehe theyre nearly the only pair i have though, its quite strange. anyway i love this piece- its pretty and doodle-pad imagery and just really moving. "With no false bits in me(apart from my mindwhich used to feel so out of place)"- i love that, really strong lines. "when I used to draw little circles on my lobes with pretty-little-pink-feltips."- another touching bit. very sweet piece.
The Proxy Ninja chapter 1 . 10/18/2005
[With no false bits in me/ (apart from my mind/ which used to feel so out of place)] Ohh, that’s outstanding! I love the usage of the bold, it really has that stress in all the right places that keeps the perfect thought and perfect beat counts!

[(silver studs,netball posts & waving blonde hair)] Netball posts, like, their long skinny legs? If so: LOL! That’s a great description for it! If not: _ I am so sorry.

[And now/ I feel fake(er)] -smiles.- That’s terrific.

Wonderful ending: [(that I never really cared if I was natural or not)/ when I used to draw little circles on my lobes with pretty-little-pink-feltips.] As for me, I used to wear those sticker earrings that look like gems, or I’d wear the clip-ons until my lobes were bright red and aching. And in all seriousness, I was scared, too. And I , too, didn’t want to be like all the girls in my class who would show off their earrings and force everyone to care. But of course, all girls secretly want to look pretty and feel beautiful.

But I’m allergic to metal, so I never have to worry about whether I should pierce my ears or not. When I got the courage and did it, my ear lobes blew up to little red balloons, and my fear was settled. Years later, I find it difficult to wear makeup and do those other things that make women’s hair look fashionable, their face pretty, their ears glitter, their legs… hairless.
Ang-Dev chapter 1 . 10/17/2005
i'm not going to say that i agree with u but thats probably only cuz i have pierced ears but i believe that pierced ears dont really make u beautiful. i dont really understand wot ur saying in this poem but maybe, if u improved it a little by saying other things such as jewellary and make-up and stuff and then tying it in with not believing in pretty people, that would be good. i find this interesting and the descriptions r good. keep writing:-)
Elizabeth Bilberry chapter 1 . 10/16/2005
Reading this, makes so much sense. It actually makes me feel ashamed that I have my ear pierced even though it was done before I could even talk. I remember that last year I wanted another hole in my ears because it seemed like the 'cool' thing at the time. Then I realized, I didn't want another hole in my ear, everyone else did for me.

Lovely poem, as always, I like the honesty in your words, that makes me feel like I can relate with them.

EB
in theory chapter 1 . 10/16/2005
I love the intensity that the parenthesis adds, and the lines "with no false bits in me/apart from my mind/which used to feel so out of place." Stunning. I have three piercings ironically. And I'm a guy. p
Ebony Stars chapter 1 . 10/16/2005
This is really well written, it shows your views without sounding pathetic or childish. Some really deep underlying messages about the perception of beauty and peer pressure. Wonderful.
White Tea and Ginger chapter 1 . 10/15/2005
Oh, I -love- this. What a great and unique idea. It really made me think- I have my ears pierced, and I never really thought about the superficialness of it. Wow. And I especially love the last few lines- shocking, almost, for some reason. Great piece. Keep up the great work.

-Hillary-
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