Reviews for Unrequited
ellen2321 chapter 1 . 12/31/2005
That was really good! I like the way parts of it flowed but then a few words didn't fit in and captured an almost painful sound, like twist. Keep writing!
Pimpled Boy chapter 1 . 12/31/2005
This is pretty, the imagery. I appreciate your long review in my "Great Grandmother's Funeral". It's really constructive. I'll change the "wept" to "wept drily". And, the "resting in peace" line is a deliberate one.
Arichos chapter 1 . 12/8/2005
I love your simplicity with this poem, you elaborate well with a childs toy. If i have time, i think i'm going to read all of these...i can't get enough here.
Alternative-Candidate chapter 1 . 12/4/2005
O, I LOVE this. The change from how to why in the second half really grabs me, a sort of reaffirmation of "There's no way to describe how I love you, just the burning question of why". Also, I love that you didn't use the standard, "Heart in the palm of your hand" thing, but changed it around to fit your own needs, to make it original. I really, really like the visual it provokes.
citrus scented chapter 1 . 11/16/2005
wow. wow. wow this is amazing . "Broken heart

Turning hypnotically in the

Palm of your hand

" this is such a beautiful and perfect way to describe it.
Tate Soyker chapter 1 . 11/9/2005
Hi, I like it, yes it's a bit abstract but so are the mind of the most creative.
Boom Kitty chapter 1 . 11/5/2005
How strange, and almost bittersweet. I love it!
rrmehta364 chapter 1 . 11/2/2005
love is like a kaleidoscope. thats a new one. i dig it though, a little tough to understand but full of good psychadelic joy.
Ang-Dev chapter 1 . 10/29/2005
i dont really like this one as much as ur others but it's quite well written. i like the ending 'just for u'. seems sweet. so, exams over? good luck with the results :-) ang
Kitty Ryan chapter 1 . 10/29/2005
Wow. Beautiful and, if you'll forgive my use of the word, heartbreaking imagery. That's an extremely powerful poem, and the phrasing is gorgeous. I think, possibly, that the impact of it might be strenghened by removing the line 'and your self-absorbed ways', but that's just me. I adored this piece.

Also, thanks for reviewing Pink Curtains. It was one of those poems that just gets...born, somehow. And long distance relationships, while godawful, can create a level of tragi-comic inspiration.
blacktearsofinnocence chapter 1 . 10/25/2005
another nice poem with great imagry. i like it. "just for you..." nice way to end it. great job and KW!

davida
Squidge VR6 chapter 1 . 10/25/2005
Oh!: "Kaleidoscope" I remember them! They were SO AWESOME!

WOW! Great poem! So true! I had flashbacks of being a toddler! Hehhee!

Your exams are over? Hope you did well!

LOVED this poem!

icewolf9 (10.25)
SummerEnds chapter 1 . 10/25/2005
hullo, thank you for the review, and correcting my grammatical mistakes. i had copied and pasted the poem from an email i sent, and i hadnt edited it in the least...i should do that though. your poem is lovely, it is slightly abstract, but i like the kaleidoscope idea. and the ending. 'just for you.' its actually...pretty clear now that i think about again, keep writing.

x3 summer
Aurora Borealis 91 chapter 1 . 10/23/2005
GACK! WHOA! This was absolutely beautiful, you're words are amazing and wow...i love the whole abstract rhythm. The entire poem flows so well together and everything fits to show all these different emotions. Feelings are kind of like that...twisting and turning, like a kaleidoscope. "Colours revolve, breaking and merging

Like pretty, tinkling shards of her

Broken heart"

Those three lines appeal so much to me, it's like they're woven into the poem...YOu have a wonderful way of describing emotions through everyday things and i really love your writing style...thnx again for your reviews! n keep up the wonderful work! o _Me
Aquafied chapter 1 . 10/23/2005
its beautiful.

one of those pure kind of things.

and everything is like a heartbreakaw.
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