Reviews for elpis defloration
Nobody-n-Particular chapter 1 . 12/16/2005
Excellent diction.
L.M. Fraser chapter 1 . 11/6/2005
Hmm, not bad.

I've a couple of spelling nitpicks, which I hope you won't mind - gnawing, not knawing, and slimy, not slimey.

Your punctuation is interesting, but seems in places a little senseless - not particularly consistant or following any real pattern of emphasis. Ditto some of the language you use, particularly with the larger words.

Very interesting and well-felt, though. Nice structure too. Good job.
evm chapter 1 . 11/3/2005
i love all of the mythology, (though i must admit i need to refresh myself a bit, some of it was lost on me) and the clash of two different sets of beliefs- the greek and the christian. amidst all of this were your perfectly lovely words- it reads like a steady stream of water. i loved 'she probes the technicolor/northernlights unraveling/ pandora's (mystery) with/ fingertips streaming/screaming/(for) light' best.
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 11/3/2005
i love the ending.. awesome poem
Astarayl chapter 1 . 10/30/2005
Amazing. I absolutely loved this. Not only is your style incredible, but your word choice and imagery is just so powerful.

The beginning few stanzas were a really good lead-in to the piece.. admittedly, at first glance it seemed somewhat random.. but as the piece grew the meaning fell into place.

There's no criticism I can make.. no criticisms. It's perfect the way it is.. strong, and I love how it builds.. good work.
mizu no kokoro chapter 1 . 10/25/2005
wow... speechless at this intense poem~ awesome work

keep writing!
Poe DeLasVegas chapter 1 . 10/23/2005
Once again, it is messy, but perhaps that is simply what you enjoy doing.

It seems as though you used "big words" to try and bamboozle the reader into thinking the poem was good.

I'm not saying it's bad, but it's definately not the best piece of work I've ever seen.
poetic abortion chapter 1 . 10/23/2005
honsetly, I can't think of anything to say that hasn't already.

~* noelle
AboveTheSalt chapter 1 . 10/23/2005
this might be one of my new favorites of your work. it is truly stunning. favorites.
lackluster chapter 1 . 10/23/2005
it has a certain flow to it, i adore the wording. ((you confuse me. you amaze me.)):i'm lost for words.
The Red Queen04 chapter 1 . 10/23/2005
I really admire your use of language. (I am well acquainted with Modernism.) Yet I find myself at a lost in trying to figure out what exactly it is you are trying to accomplish, particularly with your use of parentheses. Feel free to contact me and explain it.
lacking motivation chapter 1 . 10/22/2005
super crazy but totally hip. nice formating style.
HauntedMisery chapter 1 . 10/22/2005
This is amazing, great work!
GypsyMothra chapter 1 . 10/22/2005
Some wonderful imagery once again. It flows nicely.