Reviews for Auburn Sky
kogasha chapter 1 . 12/27/2005
I find this very interesting... does 'They cross the plain from truth and lie' mean they're above both the truth and lies? Anyway, great story!
Shadowz the Silver Wolf chapter 1 . 12/21/2005
okey dokey.. interesting, a good interesting... i like it, but it comes across a little odd, maybe that's just me though. anywho nicely written ~Silver
The Red Queen04 chapter 1 . 10/22/2005
My first comment must be that I'm having trouble visualizing an "auburn rainbow." That is a challenge. Secondly, I notice that some of your pronouns are lacking antecedents such as "its" of line 2 and "they" of line 5. Thirdly, I have to say that you have some very interesting phrases in this poem such as "Dreams awaken as they sleep," "As the forest rests in a tranquil disguise," and "The water glistens from the moon" that deserve further attention. They really drew my eye.
believe-in-futures chapter 1 . 10/22/2005
Auburn is a shade of brown. Is that what you want it to say because it doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

Recommended Line Modifications

"They cross the plain from truth and lie"to"They cross the plain from truth to lie"or"They cross the plain between truth and lies"

"As the forest rests in a tranquil disguise" This line simply has too many syllables and throws off your rhythm.

It's a lovely poem though, except for that one line your rhythm is excellent and your rhyme scheme is very effective.

Cheers.