|Reviews for BrOkEn|
| awanida chapter 1 . 1/3/2010
i'm there i feel it i know it hurts and i feel bad for you and i love the line where you say and i call the rest mine. i know the pain i know the sorrow and i know how it feels to be broken i dont think anyone could be as accurate
| myalteredego chapter 1 . 7/2/2006
Very well written. I interpreted this poem as describing the feeling of guilt and the need to confess that guilt, or just past mistakes. I really like it. The rhyming is not forced, which I think is relatively hard to do. Nice work!
| Amalia Jagd chapter 1 . 6/17/2006
YOU HAVE TALENT MY FRIEND!theres so much in here i can relate to, especially getting closer to the end. "I say as little as possible and call the rest 'mine'" is my favorite line, well, 2nd favorite really. the last line is the best! but i like that line so much (the one quoted above) because i remember when i was so quiet. i was so timid, and i miss it.i dont mean to blab too much on here, but yeah. YOU HAVE TALENT!
p.s. as i was reading this, i noticed more than a rhyming scheme, it sounds like if it got a little work, maybe it might be a good song. just a thought.
| darkdreamerx chapter 1 . 3/16/2006
My God I'm blown away again! This poem is so heart-wretching, really. I've never felt alone as much as this poem centers on, but after reading it, I could almost feel the lonliness described crawling under my skin. Incredible!
fast sprinter :)
| SassyLil'Thunderstorm chapter 1 . 2/16/2006
My god...it seems like you were writing this about me...the line "I say as little as possible and call the rest mine" shocked the hell out of me b/c I was like damn that sums up what I do with everyone I know...really good poem...good emotion, VERY real topic for me...just amazing, good job...
| With Rhyme and Reason chapter 1 . 12/20/2005
You get special points for rhyming. But your scheme seemed all over the place to me. Please correct me if I'm wrong. Did you have a specific rhyme scheme in mind?
Although the idea of suicide, cutting, depression, basically teen-angst in general, is too over-played with today's youth, I think you did an exceptionally good job.
Comment on a review you left for me: I understand the reviewer was making a point. And yes, I did pretend to laugh it off. And yes, the review deeply bothered me. I pretend to cover up pain with laughter. Big surprise. Thanks for calling my bluff. But my main "issue" was the unsigned review. Thanks again.
| Le Machi chapter 1 . 12/13/2005
Wow. There is a lot of emotion tied in this...and being able to relate makes it mean all the more.
You're not invisible to everyone.
| SayIt'sWrong chapter 1 . 11/28/2005
Oh honey, this is so beautiful and I can relate so strongly. This is such a powerful and touching poem. You're not alone in this feeling. Thanks for all your reviews! QueenVixta
| Saeger chapter 1 . 11/26/2005
I wish i could help, pammy. You help me... Thanks for the support, even though I couldn't respond. I havent been allowed online for a few months...
Stay strong, girl. You aren't alone...
| toffee-lips chapter 1 . 11/23/2005
thank you soo much for reviewing mine so here i am reviewing you in the hope you will review me to could you maybe read my first posted poem?
anyway back to your work it's all true maskeding our selfs but maybe try not thoughing the facts out pull the reader in really tell them YOUR story dam it they should want to know
tell them what burns at you i mean get it out !
hope you don't hate me for saying this
if i'm honest i think i waned to know more
| moonorchid chapter 1 . 11/22/2005
wow. again, i felt that you wrote a poem that anyone can relate to. i was truly moved by this since i've felt this way before...it flowed rhythmically and was very deep. good job
| BlackDreamLily chapter 1 . 11/19/2005
Wow- some deep stuff you got here... I can't help but imagining it all as some kind of rap song- I know it's a horse-shooter, but my mind won't let go of the idea... the imagery enchants.
| Annaece's Forsaken Corpse chapter 1 . 11/11/2005
I love this. And I suck at reviewing, I'm sorry. I know how it is to want to talk to someone and I really liked how you put it into words. I tried to open up before, too...it didn't work out.
| zz00 chapter 1 . 11/8/2005
Well expressed. I've been where you are. Don't worry, it'll all go away. Great job.:)
| Dooley Creel chapter 1 . 11/7/2005
This is dark and sad, a convincing plea, well written, we all know suffering though the anguish you portray is deep. At least a little bit, you are noticed when you write, and perhaps in some small way your cry is heard. Find the strength within yourself and proceed as best as you are able.