I liked the story as in the idea, but it needs a bit of polish. For instance, maybe a bit of explanation of what was happening in the start would be helpful. Unless it is meant to be mysterious, in which case it needs more clues. But great idea and good job!

Hey Madd's It's Amelin! i've already read a story and it's real good maybe write another chapter

i suck i'm the first reveiwer of this story