Reviews for traits of lesser known trades
Protege chapter 1 . 11/7/2005
The beginning and ending of this poem bother me. They don't fit - "I've been chiselling..." sets a casual tone (which I'd love to see) - but then you go all Aleppine on us. Which is lovely - you certainly can pull it off - but utterly incongruous. The ending is a lovely turn of phrase - I think of a doctor hunched over a heart-patient, and suddenly the patient goes up in flames. However, the whole poem you seems to be a miner or construction worker, prying and chiselling.

That being said, I rather like this poem ;). Some VERY nice lines in here. Such as the whole third stanza. Especially that bit about endlessness. The bits about weaknesses speak to me. The twists you take "I am my own weeknes... my own armour" are delightful, too.

Nice work.
marshbar960 chapter 1 . 11/3/2005
very remorseful! thanks for sharing and keep writing!

p.s. God loves you and so do I!
sunday night sky chapter 1 . 11/1/2005
i love the first line 'today i broke someone's heart'. a really lovely poem: the imagery is perfect 'chiselling' 'dislodge'. the last two lines really make the poem. beautiful work!