Very nice work here Grace. The rhyme accentuates your work nicely, but doesn't dominate or limit it. Great rhythm and very nice use of stanza repetition.

But enough with the technical terms. How have you been? I've been stopping to say hello to my old friends on here lately and your poetry seems to have grown nicely _. I hope you have too. Feel free to drop me a line if you need anything.

G.D. fickle hearts! Nice little poem. Thanks for the review.

Wow that was very good.

LOVE it! Seriously great poem! the first stanza was best. Def a great poem

This is quite nice. The second stanza is my favorite, because the words you chose are thought provoking. However, I’m not so fond of the stanza you used at the beginning and the end of the poem. The words sound bland to me… almost like they came out of a can. There is no freshness to them, no interesting or abstract imagery. I really have nothing to say about the third stanza. It isn’t generic-sounding, like the first/fourth stanza, but it isn’t quite as good as the second, either.

I’d also like to comment on the rhythm of this piece. You established a nice, simple rhythm with the first stanza, but you didn’t stick with it. The effect was rather jarring. When I read through the poem, I had to stop and reread to make sure I wasn’t skipping words or misunderstanding your message. Rhythm can be very hard to regulate- if you want to keep it steady, counting syllables and using a repeating pattern of them can help.

Well, I hope I said something helpful to you! Most of this review was constructive criticism and suggestions, but I truly enjoyed reading your poem. I hope my suggestions will be seen as friendly advice and not as an offense. Keep up the good work and never stop writing!

-tgm

I like this. The rhyming and the way it flows smoothly is nice.